Kylo "Worst Disney Princess" Ren (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
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[The lake is certainly a sight to behold; Kylo can't deny that, since it's part of why he's here. But Leia speaks as if he doesn't think of every negative thing that could happen if he's left to his thoughts.]
It's easy to look at something beautiful and think about losing it.
[He doesn't want to, but he knows that eventually, they have to leave. If there were a way to prevent that, he would absolutely take it.]
It's easy to look at something beautiful and think about losing it.
[He doesn't want to, but he knows that eventually, they have to leave. If there were a way to prevent that, he would absolutely take it.]
Then why think about losing it? We could just stay here. It would be a lot nicer here, wouldn't it?
[Her attention is fixed fully on his face, and her grip on his arm tightens ever so slightly. If Ben wanted to stay, too, that would be even better. More time to get to know him here and to learn about him as a person.]
[Her attention is fixed fully on his face, and her grip on his arm tightens ever so slightly. If Ben wanted to stay, too, that would be even better. More time to get to know him here and to learn about him as a person.]
It would.
[The answer comes more easily than it should, really, but he feels it so strongly at the current moment that he can't help it. His expression twitches uncertainly, a hint of something morose in his eyes.]
I don't know if I can let myself believe it's possible.
[The answer comes more easily than it should, really, but he feels it so strongly at the current moment that he can't help it. His expression twitches uncertainly, a hint of something morose in his eyes.]
I don't know if I can let myself believe it's possible.
[It's not so much that she wants to change him, so much as she wants to change things for him. Because while she doesn't know the full story of what happened for things to turn out the way they did, she still takes responsibility for it all anyway. There must have been something they missed or something they could've done to make Ben not turn to the dark side, and she can't accept otherwise. But it's not so easy to explain, especially with him confronting her about wanting to change him.]
That's not it at all. More than anything I've wanted to get to know you during our time here.
That's not it at all. More than anything I've wanted to get to know you during our time here.
[That hint of something morose is more than enough for Leia to be more insistent in her desire to stay here, and for Ben to stay here with her. She doesn't want Ben to be upset, and he clearly wants to stay here too, so if she can just convince him it's possible and he doesn't need to worry--]
We've been here for over a year. If we couldn't stay here, don't you think we would've left by now?
We've been here for over a year. If we couldn't stay here, don't you think we would've left by now?
If that were true, you would refer to me by the name I've chosen rather than the one you've decided on for me.
[He knows that there's no way she'll ever call him Kylo, but now that he's had someone from his past accept his decision—the man he was named after no less—he finds himself even less willing to consider letting Leia into his life without a compromise on her part.]
[He knows that there's no way she'll ever call him Kylo, but now that he's had someone from his past accept his decision—the man he was named after no less—he finds himself even less willing to consider letting Leia into his life without a compromise on her part.]
Others from our galaxy have left before.
[The traitor. Rey. Father. It's come far too close for him to be able to hope.]
Even if I left and never returned, and I could never realize what happened...
[Kylo shakes his head, his gaze sinking towards the sand. He feels that somehow he would still sense that despair. Not to mention how his attitude would affect those he left behind.]
[The traitor. Rey. Father. It's come far too close for him to be able to hope.]
Even if I left and never returned, and I could never realize what happened...
[Kylo shakes his head, his gaze sinking towards the sand. He feels that somehow he would still sense that despair. Not to mention how his attitude would affect those he left behind.]
I can't do that.
[Well, she can do it when talking about him to an unrelated third party, but to Ben and anyone she's close to from their galaxy, it's Ben, it's always Ben.]
Is being Ben Solo truly that terrible?
[Well, she can do it when talking about him to an unrelated third party, but to Ben and anyone she's close to from their galaxy, it's Ben, it's always Ben.]
Is being Ben Solo truly that terrible?
Do you have any idea of the expectations Ben Solo had to endure? All the better that he died with the rest of the Jedi.
[There's the sense that he's not looking at Leia at all, but rather gazing out to some distant point so that he doesn't have to speak to her quite so directly.]
At least as Kylo Ren, all the expectations are those I've chosen. Even aside from that, I've changed too much to be that boy anymore.
[There's the sense that he's not looking at Leia at all, but rather gazing out to some distant point so that he doesn't have to speak to her quite so directly.]
At least as Kylo Ren, all the expectations are those I've chosen. Even aside from that, I've changed too much to be that boy anymore.
They've left and come back.
[Well, not all of them. Padme, Galen Marek, Luke. They left and haven't returned. But there are just as many that left and did return, and it's that hope she feels the need to latch onto.]
There's bound to be a way to stay here. You can stay here with me, your father, and your grandfather.
[As his gaze drops toward the sand, Leia moves her other hand to rest on his arm. There's no need to be sad, that's not at all what she wants for him. She wants him to be happy about the chance to remain here.]
[Well, not all of them. Padme, Galen Marek, Luke. They left and haven't returned. But there are just as many that left and did return, and it's that hope she feels the need to latch onto.]
There's bound to be a way to stay here. You can stay here with me, your father, and your grandfather.
[As his gaze drops toward the sand, Leia moves her other hand to rest on his arm. There's no need to be sad, that's not at all what she wants for him. She wants him to be happy about the chance to remain here.]
I've only known Ben Solo as you are now.
[Well, as he is now and through images and memories from Han, but that's not first-hand experience, and he's just a baby in those. Any changes in him aren't something Leia would know, not at this point.]
You could tell me about the expectations you had to endure.
[She can guess, certainly, and she knows a thing or two about expectations herself. But if he will explain it, she will listen.]
[Well, as he is now and through images and memories from Han, but that's not first-hand experience, and he's just a baby in those. Any changes in him aren't something Leia would know, not at this point.]
You could tell me about the expectations you had to endure.
[She can guess, certainly, and she knows a thing or two about expectations herself. But if he will explain it, she will listen.]
[It's true that he can't entirely refute the possibility of staying in Verens more permanently, but he's still skeptical. He's seen where false hope can lead...]
... perhaps.
[He's certain she's referring to Organa rather than Skywalker when she says grandfather, though it's not as if it matters. Neither of them have done much to approach him, and he'd rather focus on those who have actually put in that effort. Even if—]
I still don't understand your desire to get close to me.
... perhaps.
[He's certain she's referring to Organa rather than Skywalker when she says grandfather, though it's not as if it matters. Neither of them have done much to approach him, and he'd rather focus on those who have actually put in that effort. Even if—]
I still don't understand your desire to get close to me.
[A sharp, almost tense feeling is sent through the connection. He feels like he's already been talking to her too long.]
What do you think? The son of the heroes of the Rebellion, Force-sensitive nephew to the last living Jedi. The eyes of the entire galaxy were on me in one way or another.
What do you think? The son of the heroes of the Rebellion, Force-sensitive nephew to the last living Jedi. The eyes of the entire galaxy were on me in one way or another.
You're my son.
[That's it. It's not that difficult to understand, in her opinion. Ben's made a lot of choices that disgust and terrify her, yes, but she wants him to be better. She still loves him, because he's still her son, even if he might say otherwise.]
[That's it. It's not that difficult to understand, in her opinion. Ben's made a lot of choices that disgust and terrify her, yes, but she wants him to be better. She still loves him, because he's still her son, even if he might say otherwise.]
[Leia is silent for a moment, between the tense feeling from Ben's side and the explanation he's giving. It's not hard to understand how hard all of that would have been. She knows a thing about growing up in the public sphere, but just because she could handle it doesn't mean her son is automatically the same.]
It's hard, I know. And I wish things had been easier for you.
It's hard, I know. And I wish things had been easier for you.
And Anakin Skywalker is your father.
[It's all too easy to point out how family can easily mean nothing, even if Elios' influence has gotten in his head enough to not shake off her touch. Unfortunately, there's only so much that can do to make him forget his family's issues.]
[It's all too easy to point out how family can easily mean nothing, even if Elios' influence has gotten in his head enough to not shake off her touch. Unfortunately, there's only so much that can do to make him forget his family's issues.]
It's too late for that.
[He doesn't even sound angry so much as bitter, maybe annoyed. It's not like it matters much at this point, except as a kind of pain for him to use to strengthen himself.]
Like I said, Ben Solo is gone, and those expectations with him.
[He doesn't even sound angry so much as bitter, maybe annoyed. It's not like it matters much at this point, except as a kind of pain for him to use to strengthen himself.]
Like I said, Ben Solo is gone, and those expectations with him.
[Well that comment is enough to make Leia frown, and even slightly break the delusion she's under. Only slightly, because as much of a rejection as that is, it's not enough to fully make her realize something is wrong here.]
I can accept he is my biological father, but that doesn't mean I have to accept him as a person or as part of my family.
[Not that it's the same, how she views Anakin and Ben, but that point isn't something she's sure how he'd react to.]
But, I accept you.
I can accept he is my biological father, but that doesn't mean I have to accept him as a person or as part of my family.
[Not that it's the same, how she views Anakin and Ben, but that point isn't something she's sure how he'd react to.]
But, I accept you.
I don't understand why he has to be, especially here of all places.
[back home is something she's determined to change, to help Ben not have to go through all of this, but here it's something he has to choose.]
[back home is something she's determined to change, to help Ben not have to go through all of this, but here it's something he has to choose.]
But why is what I can't understand.
[Just saying he's her son doesn't solve the issue for him. There's so much more to the situation than just being family—it's not as if he hasn't done horrible things, and she knows that.]
What is the difference between me and him?
[Just saying he's her son doesn't solve the issue for him. There's so much more to the situation than just being family—it's not as if he hasn't done horrible things, and she knows that.]
What is the difference between me and him?
[For a moment, Kylo thinks about trying to explain it to her, but that reaches too far into his feelings about himself to be even remotely comfortable to speak about, much less with her.]
No, you wouldn't understand.
[Thinking of returning to that name—it would be a disgrace, for one. He has no intention of being anyone but Kylo Ren.]
It is what it is. He's not coming back.
No, you wouldn't understand.
[Thinking of returning to that name—it would be a disgrace, for one. He has no intention of being anyone but Kylo Ren.]
It is what it is. He's not coming back.
It's hard to put it in words.
[That's the heart of the matter, most likely. Because it is because he's her son. That's part of the main argument there. He's her son, he's hers and Han's, even if he hasn't been born yet in her time. It's her responsibility to look out for him, care for him, and make things better for him, and it's a responsibility she readily accepts.]
It's more... you're mine. I'll have watched you grow up.
[That's the heart of the matter, most likely. Because it is because he's her son. That's part of the main argument there. He's her son, he's hers and Han's, even if he hasn't been born yet in her time. It's her responsibility to look out for him, care for him, and make things better for him, and it's a responsibility she readily accepts.]
It's more... you're mine. I'll have watched you grow up.
I'm still going to think of you as Ben.
[Which she knows he knows, but she feels the need to say it.]
I can't just give up on him. On you.
[Which she knows he knows, but she feels the need to say it.]
I can't just give up on him. On you.
[Kylo sighs, shaking his head. It seems like she's making the same mistake her father did, in their attachment to their children. He'll make sure not to follow in those footsteps—and it's certainly made easier due to not having any children, and not having any woman he's interested in.]
Of course it would be something as trivial as that...
[He casts his gaze out onto the lake once more before taking a step away and turning cityward, his tone absent of the vicious bitterness it usually has when he's dismissing her.]
You can enjoy the fact that we're all here from afar.
Of course it would be something as trivial as that...
[He casts his gaze out onto the lake once more before taking a step away and turning cityward, his tone absent of the vicious bitterness it usually has when he's dismissing her.]
You can enjoy the fact that we're all here from afar.
Then I hope you're prepared for disappointment.
[Things would be so much easier—for everyone—if she did give up. To Kylo, all this is doing is making things more painful for no good reason.]
[Things would be so much easier—for everyone—if she did give up. To Kylo, all this is doing is making things more painful for no good reason.]
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