[Leia is silent for a moment, between the tense feeling from Ben's side and the explanation he's giving. It's not hard to understand how hard all of that would have been. She knows a thing about growing up in the public sphere, but just because she could handle it doesn't mean her son is automatically the same.]
It's hard, I know. And I wish things had been easier for you.
[He doesn't even sound angry so much as bitter, maybe annoyed. It's not like it matters much at this point, except as a kind of pain for him to use to strengthen himself.]
Like I said, Ben Solo is gone, and those expectations with him.
[For a moment, Kylo thinks about trying to explain it to her, but that reaches too far into his feelings about himself to be even remotely comfortable to speak about, much less with her.]
No, you wouldn't understand.
[Thinking of returning to that name—it would be a disgrace, for one. He has no intention of being anyone but Kylo Ren.]
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lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
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It's hard, I know. And I wish things had been easier for you.
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[He doesn't even sound angry so much as bitter, maybe annoyed. It's not like it matters much at this point, except as a kind of pain for him to use to strengthen himself.]
Like I said, Ben Solo is gone, and those expectations with him.
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[back home is something she's determined to change, to help Ben not have to go through all of this, but here it's something he has to choose.]
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No, you wouldn't understand.
[Thinking of returning to that name—it would be a disgrace, for one. He has no intention of being anyone but Kylo Ren.]
It is what it is. He's not coming back.
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[Which she knows he knows, but she feels the need to say it.]
I can't just give up on him. On you.
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[Things would be so much easier—for everyone—if she did give up. To Kylo, all this is doing is making things more painful for no good reason.]