[The touch only serves to anchor him firmly to the terrible reality of the situation, and he tenses visibly, hands curling into fists as his jaw tightens, a faint twitch under his left eye.
Although his emotions may not manifest in a supernatural way, they're nonetheless as intense as ever, and he can only take so much. Without a word and pointedly avoiding looking at Leia, he takes a step back and turns to head inside the house with a stricken expression on his face, leaving the door wide open.]
[That reaction, at least, is one she's used to. Slowly, she draws her hand back to her, and grips her other hand, purely for the sake of having something to do with it as she considers what to do next.
She doesn't immediately follow after Kylo, but after a few minutes, since the door is open and she doesn't want to leave him like this (and also doesn't want to be by herself, or with someone who doesn't know Han that well), Leia heads inside. She doesn't know where Kylo might have gone, but she figures he can't be too hard to find in this state, even without his powers or emotional effects.]
[Leia only gets a step past the threshold before there's a loud crash from the living room.
A few more steps will reveal the couch flipped over and her son having taken hold of the coffee table, and he tosses it halfway across the room with a shout he cuts short, as if in an ironic attempt to restrain himself. It shakes the floor on impact, leaving scrapes on the wood, but Kylo doesn't even pay it any attention as he moves for the table on the side of the room in long strides, apparently intending to upend it as well.]
[Yeah she's got a pretty good idea that wherever there's crashing, there will be Kylo.
She makes her way to the living room just as he tosses the coffee table, flinching as it lands on the ground. It's hard to not flinch when a table is being tossed around somewhat close to you.
Kylo may have a longer stride than her and may be physically stronger than her, but Leia goes for the same table he's heading toward, bracing both her hands on the table in an attempt to get him to calm down and stop destroying his living room.]
[For a few brief seconds, he stands there with his own hands on that table, staring at her wide-eyed with an emotion that's hard to identify, but it passes and he rips the table out of her hands, flinging it clear over the fallen couch, the books on top of it and the contents of its drawer flying haphazardly as it falls.
He stares at the disarray with that same overwhelmed look, taking shaky breaths and trembling.]
[She stumbles back as the table is ripped from her grasp, her arms coming up in front of her protectively almost on instinct. But he doesn't aim for her, and it doesn't hit her on accident, or anything she should have been worried about.
For a moment, she also stares at Ben and what he's done to the room, before tentatively stepping toward him. She doesn't know what she can do to help--or rather, what sort of help or comfort he might accept--but she can't just leave him this way.]
[Ren merely stands there without any indications towards further movement or reactions to her approach, instead looking unsteady on his feet, like he's liable to collapse at the slightest touch.
All of it is only temporary. The surge of violence to distract him from his feelings only works so well as an outlet, and as much as he may try, he can't keep the thoughts of loss from coming. All of them are destined to leave here, and Kylo can only surmise that he's destined to return and suffer until he's lost everything and everyone he cares about.]
[With him seeming to have exhausted his violent outburst, Leia continues forward, her gaze fixed on him and how unwell he looks. Did she look just as bad? She doesn't know. She figures she did at one point, but she wants to believe she at least looks more composed than she feels, even despite Ben clearly picking out something was upsetting her with only one quick glance.]
[He can't even muster a response, moisture building in his eyes as he glances halfheartedly at the chair that's still upright.
What's the point? Why should he bother moving? It won't change anything, just like everything else he's tried. It won't stop anyone from getting hurt. It won't stop anyone from leaving him. And it certainly won't stop the tears, either.]
Crossing the distance between them, once again, Leia reaches out, placing a hand on his arm and gently squeezing in what she hopes is even slightly reassuring. Or at least a reminder that he's not the only one upset about this. She'd like to take him in her arms, but he's still Kylo, and as much as she'd like that and as much as she hates seeing him this obviously upset, she doesn't know if he'd accept that or if it'd just make things worse.]
[He wavers visibly when Leia touches him, and the barely-restrained tears begin dripping down his face as his breath hitches.
In that moment, none of the facade he's been trying to put up this whole time seems to matter much anymore. It's not as if he'll ever prevent anyone from getting hurt, or that anything will ever improve through his efforts, so for once he allows himself the weakness he's worked so hard to deny.
He takes a single step to turn towards her and drops his face against the top of her head, trembling and very nearly seeming like he might just topple over onto her. His shoulders are slumped, arms limp by his sides; a distant part of his mind tells him he doesn't deserve any comfort, so he limits the contact to this almost subconsciously.]
[That's. Unexpected. All of it, really. Ben has never been this open with her during their time here, not open enough to cry in front of her. And certainly not enough to turn to her for comfort.
For the shortest of moments, Leia blinks, distracted briefly from everything else by the fact that Ben is trusting her like this. It's something she's wanted for the past few years, yes, but she wouldn't have wanted it to come about like this. Not without Han here. She wanted the three of them together, and she wanted to be able to tell Han about this, about whenever Ben decided to actually let her in, because she knows he'd be just as excited about it as she would be.
But that moment passes, and with a shaky breath of her own, Leia shifts to wrap her arms around him, for comfort for the both of them, and just in case Kylo really does nearly fall over.]
[There's not much thought in Kylo's mind about trust at this point; although he had kept his feelings to himself as best he could in front of his mother because of trust issues, he's too overwhelmed to not take the comfort where he can get it. The small part of his mind that's aware of all of that is certain he'll just be hurt again. Avoiding it just doesn't seem to matter anymore.
His arms loosely curl around her when she embraces him, and for several moments it seems as if he has no intention of moving from that spot. He simply cries silently, his breaths uneven.]
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lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
no subject
Although his emotions may not manifest in a supernatural way, they're nonetheless as intense as ever, and he can only take so much. Without a word and pointedly avoiding looking at Leia, he takes a step back and turns to head inside the house with a stricken expression on his face, leaving the door wide open.]
no subject
She doesn't immediately follow after Kylo, but after a few minutes, since the door is open and she doesn't want to leave him like this (and also doesn't want to be by herself, or with someone who doesn't know Han that well), Leia heads inside. She doesn't know where Kylo might have gone, but she figures he can't be too hard to find in this state, even without his powers or emotional effects.]
no subject
A few more steps will reveal the couch flipped over and her son having taken hold of the coffee table, and he tosses it halfway across the room with a shout he cuts short, as if in an ironic attempt to restrain himself. It shakes the floor on impact, leaving scrapes on the wood, but Kylo doesn't even pay it any attention as he moves for the table on the side of the room in long strides, apparently intending to upend it as well.]
no subject
She makes her way to the living room just as he tosses the coffee table, flinching as it lands on the ground. It's hard to not flinch when a table is being tossed around somewhat close to you.
Kylo may have a longer stride than her and may be physically stronger than her, but Leia goes for the same table he's heading toward, bracing both her hands on the table in an attempt to get him to calm down and stop destroying his living room.]
Ben, stop.
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He stares at the disarray with that same overwhelmed look, taking shaky breaths and trembling.]
no subject
For a moment, she also stares at Ben and what he's done to the room, before tentatively stepping toward him. She doesn't know what she can do to help--or rather, what sort of help or comfort he might accept--but she can't just leave him this way.]
no subject
All of it is only temporary. The surge of violence to distract him from his feelings only works so well as an outlet, and as much as he may try, he can't keep the thoughts of loss from coming. All of them are destined to leave here, and Kylo can only surmise that he's destined to return and suffer until he's lost everything and everyone he cares about.]
no subject
You should sit down, Ben. Please.
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What's the point? Why should he bother moving? It won't change anything, just like everything else he's tried. It won't stop anyone from getting hurt. It won't stop anyone from leaving him. And it certainly won't stop the tears, either.]
no subject
Crossing the distance between them, once again, Leia reaches out, placing a hand on his arm and gently squeezing in what she hopes is even slightly reassuring. Or at least a reminder that he's not the only one upset about this. She'd like to take him in her arms, but he's still Kylo, and as much as she'd like that and as much as she hates seeing him this obviously upset, she doesn't know if he'd accept that or if it'd just make things worse.]
no subject
In that moment, none of the facade he's been trying to put up this whole time seems to matter much anymore. It's not as if he'll ever prevent anyone from getting hurt, or that anything will ever improve through his efforts, so for once he allows himself the weakness he's worked so hard to deny.
He takes a single step to turn towards her and drops his face against the top of her head, trembling and very nearly seeming like he might just topple over onto her. His shoulders are slumped, arms limp by his sides; a distant part of his mind tells him he doesn't deserve any comfort, so he limits the contact to this almost subconsciously.]
no subject
For the shortest of moments, Leia blinks, distracted briefly from everything else by the fact that Ben is trusting her like this. It's something she's wanted for the past few years, yes, but she wouldn't have wanted it to come about like this. Not without Han here. She wanted the three of them together, and she wanted to be able to tell Han about this, about whenever Ben decided to actually let her in, because she knows he'd be just as excited about it as she would be.
But that moment passes, and with a shaky breath of her own, Leia shifts to wrap her arms around him, for comfort for the both of them, and just in case Kylo really does nearly fall over.]
no subject
His arms loosely curl around her when she embraces him, and for several moments it seems as if he has no intention of moving from that spot. He simply cries silently, his breaths uneven.]