[Ren merely stands there without any indications towards further movement or reactions to her approach, instead looking unsteady on his feet, like he's liable to collapse at the slightest touch.
All of it is only temporary. The surge of violence to distract him from his feelings only works so well as an outlet, and as much as he may try, he can't keep the thoughts of loss from coming. All of them are destined to leave here, and Kylo can only surmise that he's destined to return and suffer until he's lost everything and everyone he cares about.]
[With him seeming to have exhausted his violent outburst, Leia continues forward, her gaze fixed on him and how unwell he looks. Did she look just as bad? She doesn't know. She figures she did at one point, but she wants to believe she at least looks more composed than she feels, even despite Ben clearly picking out something was upsetting her with only one quick glance.]
[He can't even muster a response, moisture building in his eyes as he glances halfheartedly at the chair that's still upright.
What's the point? Why should he bother moving? It won't change anything, just like everything else he's tried. It won't stop anyone from getting hurt. It won't stop anyone from leaving him. And it certainly won't stop the tears, either.]
Crossing the distance between them, once again, Leia reaches out, placing a hand on his arm and gently squeezing in what she hopes is even slightly reassuring. Or at least a reminder that he's not the only one upset about this. She'd like to take him in her arms, but he's still Kylo, and as much as she'd like that and as much as she hates seeing him this obviously upset, she doesn't know if he'd accept that or if it'd just make things worse.]
[He wavers visibly when Leia touches him, and the barely-restrained tears begin dripping down his face as his breath hitches.
In that moment, none of the facade he's been trying to put up this whole time seems to matter much anymore. It's not as if he'll ever prevent anyone from getting hurt, or that anything will ever improve through his efforts, so for once he allows himself the weakness he's worked so hard to deny.
He takes a single step to turn towards her and drops his face against the top of her head, trembling and very nearly seeming like he might just topple over onto her. His shoulders are slumped, arms limp by his sides; a distant part of his mind tells him he doesn't deserve any comfort, so he limits the contact to this almost subconsciously.]
[That's. Unexpected. All of it, really. Ben has never been this open with her during their time here, not open enough to cry in front of her. And certainly not enough to turn to her for comfort.
For the shortest of moments, Leia blinks, distracted briefly from everything else by the fact that Ben is trusting her like this. It's something she's wanted for the past few years, yes, but she wouldn't have wanted it to come about like this. Not without Han here. She wanted the three of them together, and she wanted to be able to tell Han about this, about whenever Ben decided to actually let her in, because she knows he'd be just as excited about it as she would be.
But that moment passes, and with a shaky breath of her own, Leia shifts to wrap her arms around him, for comfort for the both of them, and just in case Kylo really does nearly fall over.]
[There's not much thought in Kylo's mind about trust at this point; although he had kept his feelings to himself as best he could in front of his mother because of trust issues, he's too overwhelmed to not take the comfort where he can get it. The small part of his mind that's aware of all of that is certain he'll just be hurt again. Avoiding it just doesn't seem to matter anymore.
His arms loosely curl around her when she embraces him, and for several moments it seems as if he has no intention of moving from that spot. He simply cries silently, his breaths uneven.]
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lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
no subject
All of it is only temporary. The surge of violence to distract him from his feelings only works so well as an outlet, and as much as he may try, he can't keep the thoughts of loss from coming. All of them are destined to leave here, and Kylo can only surmise that he's destined to return and suffer until he's lost everything and everyone he cares about.]
no subject
You should sit down, Ben. Please.
no subject
What's the point? Why should he bother moving? It won't change anything, just like everything else he's tried. It won't stop anyone from getting hurt. It won't stop anyone from leaving him. And it certainly won't stop the tears, either.]
no subject
Crossing the distance between them, once again, Leia reaches out, placing a hand on his arm and gently squeezing in what she hopes is even slightly reassuring. Or at least a reminder that he's not the only one upset about this. She'd like to take him in her arms, but he's still Kylo, and as much as she'd like that and as much as she hates seeing him this obviously upset, she doesn't know if he'd accept that or if it'd just make things worse.]
no subject
In that moment, none of the facade he's been trying to put up this whole time seems to matter much anymore. It's not as if he'll ever prevent anyone from getting hurt, or that anything will ever improve through his efforts, so for once he allows himself the weakness he's worked so hard to deny.
He takes a single step to turn towards her and drops his face against the top of her head, trembling and very nearly seeming like he might just topple over onto her. His shoulders are slumped, arms limp by his sides; a distant part of his mind tells him he doesn't deserve any comfort, so he limits the contact to this almost subconsciously.]
no subject
For the shortest of moments, Leia blinks, distracted briefly from everything else by the fact that Ben is trusting her like this. It's something she's wanted for the past few years, yes, but she wouldn't have wanted it to come about like this. Not without Han here. She wanted the three of them together, and she wanted to be able to tell Han about this, about whenever Ben decided to actually let her in, because she knows he'd be just as excited about it as she would be.
But that moment passes, and with a shaky breath of her own, Leia shifts to wrap her arms around him, for comfort for the both of them, and just in case Kylo really does nearly fall over.]
no subject
His arms loosely curl around her when she embraces him, and for several moments it seems as if he has no intention of moving from that spot. He simply cries silently, his breaths uneven.]