[Oh, whoops, that was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it? Stupid! Rey makes an attempt at salvaging the situation, still watching his face even though he's turned his head away.]
That's a good thing! To me, I mean. People on Jakku don't usually live that long, so... it's a compliment. Sort of.
[Basically just applying engine tape to a malfunctioning hyperdrive, but maybe it would work a little. And for that inevitable failure, she throws in a slight subject change, looking off to the side and scrunching her nose in thought.]
I'm 21, I think. There's a few days I've lost count of here and there, and maybe I should have started over when I came back. The years here are longer, too. But 21 should be close. [Rey herself doesn't have a birthday, after all. She never has. She has marks on the wall to keep track of her age, and that's all she's ever needed.]
[Her attempt to clarify her sort-of insult draws Kylo out of his thoughts, at least, and he wasn't exactly irate with what she'd said in the first place, so it's easy to just let any semblance of offense go. Ren sits down again, making sure to keep his new cape out of the way, and he leans forward, resting his forearms against the table. He's clearly making himself comfortable.]
Have you considered picking out a date?
[He thinks about mentioning a girl he knows and how she left and returned to Verens an inch or two smaller than she'd grown, but it seems unimportant. Twenty, twenty-one... Whatever age Rey thinks she is, it doesn't make a difference to him.]
[Rey looks back as soon as he sits, and she can't help watching to make sure the cape doesn't get wrinkled—that thing wasn't cheap—though she knows she should hardly worry, considering how meticulous Kylo tends to be. At his question though, she meets his eyes again with a confused expression.]
Do I need one? A date?
[She's never considered it, honestly. But she can't deny that it seems everyone else has a specific birthday, so maybe she ought to have one too now that she's living among normal people.]
[It's not as if he actively celebrates his. He acknowledges it as the passing of another year, another step away from the past, but that's the most he's ever planned in the past several. Aside from that, he wonders how Rey would feel about that kind of gathering, several people focusing their attention on her in a positive way.]
[Okay, so not an expectation for normalcy, probably. That's good. Rey feels enough like a misfit as it is. She pauses to consider what Kylo's said, settling her arms on the table and inadvertently mirroring his posture.]
Usually it means you get something nice, if you have someone who cares enough about you.
[Which he knows Rey has, even if present company is excluded. And even the most emotionally constipated sorts (cough, Hux) can enjoy gifts, he thinks. As long as they're nice gifts, anyway.]
[Admittedly, Rey does like gifts. She's still not exactly used to getting them, and the thought of having a day where she'd get possibly multiple gifts from people she cares about is both exciting and mildly intimidating. A few flickers of light reflect off her tea and the spoon in front of her.]
I wouldn't know how to pick one. Seems like it'd be a bit arbitrary.
[Ren taps a finger against his teacup; just picking one at random does seem a bit... senseless, doesn't it? Not that a birthday has to inherently mean anything, but...]
[Ren sputters over his cup of tea, covering his mouth with the back of his hand, as he coughs. He remembers the embarrassment that was that day. He can't believe he went for such overt displays of emotion just because she'd returned... he blames that horrid atmosphere that surrounded the city at the time...]
If that—means that much to you. I suppose. [He hadn't really expected it to be associated with him of all people.]
[Well, that reaction was unexpected. Rey's brow creases briefly in confusion, trying to figure out why Kylo seems shocked—maybe... embarrassed, even?—by her answer. Does she really need to explain?
She turns partly in her chair to face him more, the one hand she still has on the table moving next to his, not quite touching but close.]
Of course it does. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever given me, and you said I could get something nice if I picked out a date. So why wouldn't I pick that one?
[He's still confused? Why? Rey doesn't understand, and she frowns for a moment. His insistence on being so thick about this would almost be frustrating if it wasn't also oddly... endearing, in a way.]
I don't exactly have people lining up to buy me lovely things. [She tilts her chin downward, raising her eyebrows to look at him with an expression that says she thought this fact ought to be fairly obvious.]
Nobody else is crazy enough to do that for a scavenger but you. I don't really have many other better possible dates to choose from. Maybe not any better ones.
[As much as she thinks it's obvious, his brief look of confusion nearing surprise says otherwise. He supposes he's made another mistaken assumption about who exactly Rey is close to—but instead of a particular person, it's the number of people, and again he's underestimated how much...
No, he doesn't quite want to go there, out of fear of making a much more dangerous assumption. His gaze darts away as he tries to move away from his thoughts regarding that, attempting to regain his dignity.]
[He remembers the day? Rey's face brightens and with it the whole room.]
Empta 5. [She has a birthday. A fake birthday. But a birthday! It's a little bit exciting even if it's pretend.
But her celebration is short-lived, when she realizes he's not nearly so cheerful. Rather, Kylo seems confused and embarrassed, and she isn't sure why. Rey nearly reaches for the hand closest to hers, but decides against it. She does, however, lean over to try and get more in his eyeline now that he's turned his gaze away.]
Unless you'd rather I didn't pick that one. You seem surprised I did, and I don't know why.
[Ren shakes his head to deny the idea that he has much of a right to decide such a thing for her, turning his attention back to her as she leans towards him.]
It's your decision. [Even if he appreciates the fact that she... apparently wants to take his opinion into account.]
I just thought you'd have others that meant more to you.
[She leans back again to her normal position as soon as she regains his attention, looking at him with confusion of her own, as well as a bit of concern. Does Kylo really not understand what he means to her? She thought that would've been pretty clear by now.
This time Rey does take his hand, setting her own solidly on top of his much larger one. She furrows her brow at him and leans forward slightly to make sure her next words come out as insistent and earnest as she intends them to.]
[There's something in his eyes that softens at her reassurance, but there's still some clear uncertainty in his expression as he swallows.
He lets out a nervous chuckle, glancing at their hands and then the box.]
I suppose that should be obvious by now, shouldn't it?
[He still has a hard time believing it. It's in his nature to assume no one truly thinks much of him, that he always has to prove himself. He's always searching for those indications that his paranoia is right.]
[Her mouth quirks upward to make it clear she's (mostly) teasing. But she still doesn't take her hand off his or move her eyes from his face. He still seems unsure, after all, and that's simply not acceptable. Not after everything that's happened between them.]
But clearly it's not. So what do I have to do to make it obvious to you?
[What's more overt than so many gifts? What's more overt than wanting her birthday to be a day she remembers him? He honestly sees that she's done basically everything she logically should to make him believe it, and the problem isn't with her words or actions. It's him, and he's aware of that.]
[Rey clearly isn't convinced. But Kylo also isn't exactly offering anything helpful, nor does he seem to be as uncertain as before, so she finally leans back and, a few seconds later, removes her hand from his.]
Not enough. [She huffs to show her dissatisfaction.] I'll think of something. You'll see.
[His hand twitches on the table when she pulls away, as does his mouth, but he stays where he is without any other movement.
He can see she's not giving it up, so he sees little point in trying to argue about this particular issue, shaking his head to express his exasperation.]
[She catches that subtle twitch of his hand out of the corner of her eye and wonders if she shouldn't have pulled her hand away. He's odd about that sort of thing, she's noticed. Physical contact. Sometimes he's clearly uncomfortable with it and looks glad to have it over with. Other times he seems almost starved for it, and part of her aches to have taken it away.
But returning her hand to his now would be weird. At the very least, it would draw attention to his twitches and therefore what she's sure he would consider weakness.
So instead she moves forward and out of her chair to give him a hug. It's awkward, with his body still tilted sideways and him still seated while she bends over just a bit—even seated he's absurdly tall—but Rey is an accomplished hugger by this point, and she manages to make it work. For now she'll keep her arms loosely around his neck and tuck her chin against the top of his hair. With any luck, since she's reminded him of the day he gave her that pin, she can get a hug returned this time, though she's not counting on it.]
[The position she essentially drags him into is certainly awkward, to be sure—but he doesn't even think about resisting it at this point, considering how ridiculous it would be. For him to refuse it now, after everything they've just talked about... there's really no point.
So he does return it, as best he can; he has to shuffle sideways to get both his arms around her, resting his head against her chest. Still, he can't resist a bit of grumbling thanks to the discomfort.]
[With his head on her chest, he'll likely be able to feel her light chuckle at his complaint.]
I'm open to suggestions.
[She grumbled about him in a similar way on that day a year ago, so she'll allow him his grumpiness, particularly since it comes with a returned hug. It's the first one she's gotten from him since then, not counting the time when Elios interfered, and the room fills up with soft sunlight as a result. And now that she's not distracted by the confusion of memories trying to sort themselves out in her brain, she can properly enjoy it this time.]
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lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
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That's a good thing! To me, I mean. People on Jakku don't usually live that long, so... it's a compliment. Sort of.
[Basically just applying engine tape to a malfunctioning hyperdrive, but maybe it would work a little. And for that inevitable failure, she throws in a slight subject change, looking off to the side and scrunching her nose in thought.]
I'm 21, I think. There's a few days I've lost count of here and there, and maybe I should have started over when I came back. The years here are longer, too. But 21 should be close. [Rey herself doesn't have a birthday, after all. She never has. She has marks on the wall to keep track of her age, and that's all she's ever needed.]
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Have you considered picking out a date?
[He thinks about mentioning a girl he knows and how she left and returned to Verens an inch or two smaller than she'd grown, but it seems unimportant. Twenty, twenty-one... Whatever age Rey thinks she is, it doesn't make a difference to him.]
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Do I need one? A date?
[She's never considered it, honestly. But she can't deny that it seems everyone else has a specific birthday, so maybe she ought to have one too now that she's living among normal people.]
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[It's not as if he actively celebrates his. He acknowledges it as the passing of another year, another step away from the past, but that's the most he's ever planned in the past several. Aside from that, he wonders how Rey would feel about that kind of gathering, several people focusing their attention on her in a positive way.]
But you might like it.
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Why do you think I'd like it?
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[Which he knows Rey has, even if present company is excluded. And even the most emotionally constipated sorts (cough, Hux) can enjoy gifts, he thinks. As long as they're nice gifts, anyway.]
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I wouldn't know how to pick one. Seems like it'd be a bit arbitrary.
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Perhaps one that means something to you?
[A day she remembers fondly, maybe.]
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Rey thinks about it for a moment and then her face lights up as she gets an idea.]
You gave me a gift the day I came back. The hair clip. What about that one?
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If that—means that much to you. I suppose. [He hadn't really expected it to be associated with him of all people.]
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She turns partly in her chair to face him more, the one hand she still has on the table moving next to his, not quite touching but close.]
Of course it does. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever given me, and you said I could get something nice if I picked out a date. So why wouldn't I pick that one?
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He shakes his head faintly before answering, ignoring the flowers under the legs of his chair.]
I thought you'd have other things you'd rather associate it with. [Other people, namely.]
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I don't exactly have people lining up to buy me lovely things. [She tilts her chin downward, raising her eyebrows to look at him with an expression that says she thought this fact ought to be fairly obvious.]
Nobody else is crazy enough to do that for a scavenger but you. I don't really have many other better possible dates to choose from. Maybe not any better ones.
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No, he doesn't quite want to go there, out of fear of making a much more dangerous assumption. His gaze darts away as he tries to move away from his thoughts regarding that, attempting to regain his dignity.]
Empta 5, then.
[Because of course he remembers that day.]
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Empta 5. [She has a birthday. A fake birthday. But a birthday! It's a little bit exciting even if it's pretend.
But her celebration is short-lived, when she realizes he's not nearly so cheerful. Rather, Kylo seems confused and embarrassed, and she isn't sure why. Rey nearly reaches for the hand closest to hers, but decides against it. She does, however, lean over to try and get more in his eyeline now that he's turned his gaze away.]
Unless you'd rather I didn't pick that one. You seem surprised I did, and I don't know why.
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It's your decision. [Even if he appreciates the fact that she... apparently wants to take his opinion into account.]
I just thought you'd have others that meant more to you.
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This time Rey does take his hand, setting her own solidly on top of his much larger one. She furrows her brow at him and leans forward slightly to make sure her next words come out as insistent and earnest as she intends them to.]
You mean plenty.
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He lets out a nervous chuckle, glancing at their hands and then the box.]
I suppose that should be obvious by now, shouldn't it?
[He still has a hard time believing it. It's in his nature to assume no one truly thinks much of him, that he always has to prove himself. He's always searching for those indications that his paranoia is right.]
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[Her mouth quirks upward to make it clear she's (mostly) teasing. But she still doesn't take her hand off his or move her eyes from his face. He still seems unsure, after all, and that's simply not acceptable. Not after everything that's happened between them.]
But clearly it's not. So what do I have to do to make it obvious to you?
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That's not necessary.
[What's more overt than so many gifts? What's more overt than wanting her birthday to be a day she remembers him? He honestly sees that she's done basically everything she logically should to make him believe it, and the problem isn't with her words or actions. It's him, and he's aware of that.]
You've already done plenty.
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Not enough. [She huffs to show her dissatisfaction.] I'll think of something. You'll see.
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He can see she's not giving it up, so he sees little point in trying to argue about this particular issue, shaking his head to express his exasperation.]
If you insist.
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But returning her hand to his now would be weird. At the very least, it would draw attention to his twitches and therefore what she's sure he would consider weakness.
So instead she moves forward and out of her chair to give him a hug. It's awkward, with his body still tilted sideways and him still seated while she bends over just a bit—even seated he's absurdly tall—but Rey is an accomplished hugger by this point, and she manages to make it work. For now she'll keep her arms loosely around his neck and tuck her chin against the top of his hair. With any luck, since she's reminded him of the day he gave her that pin, she can get a hug returned this time, though she's not counting on it.]
I insist.
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So he does return it, as best he can; he has to shuffle sideways to get both his arms around her, resting his head against her chest. Still, he can't resist a bit of grumbling thanks to the discomfort.]
You're not making this easy.
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I'm open to suggestions.
[She grumbled about him in a similar way on that day a year ago, so she'll allow him his grumpiness, particularly since it comes with a returned hug. It's the first one she's gotten from him since then, not counting the time when Elios interfered, and the room fills up with soft sunlight as a result. And now that she's not distracted by the confusion of memories trying to sort themselves out in her brain, she can properly enjoy it this time.]
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