Kylo "Worst Disney Princess" Ren (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
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As if I could ignore them.
[He could tune the other man out once, partly. Most of the time he had just endeavored to suppress whatever he happened to feel about the general's scathing words. But his feelings haven't let him do either in a long time—at least on the island.]
You can say whatever you want about my failures. But I can't watch you while you do it.
[He turns to go up the stairs once more.]
[He could tune the other man out once, partly. Most of the time he had just endeavored to suppress whatever he happened to feel about the general's scathing words. But his feelings haven't let him do either in a long time—at least on the island.]
You can say whatever you want about my failures. But I can't watch you while you do it.
[He turns to go up the stairs once more.]
You ignored me just fine back on Crait!
[Feeling slightly more brazen, Hux reaches to grab Ren by the arm. It's not something he would do back home, especially given Ren's new position as Supreme Leader, but in Verens it's a different story.]
And why can't you watch me? Why does that make a difference to you?!
[He truly doesn't understand this.]
[Feeling slightly more brazen, Hux reaches to grab Ren by the arm. It's not something he would do back home, especially given Ren's new position as Supreme Leader, but in Verens it's a different story.]
And why can't you watch me? Why does that make a difference to you?!
[He truly doesn't understand this.]
[His patience running thin even before Hux grabs at his arm, he's certain that nothing he has the energy to say would make the other man understand. But when Armitage does make that contact, he makes a snap decision, whirling back around and grabbing the redhead to drag him closer, despite the greater height difference thanks to the stairs.
If smashing their mouths together doesn't do the trick, Kylo doesn't know what will.]
If smashing their mouths together doesn't do the trick, Kylo doesn't know what will.]
Ren you--
[And Hux is instantly silenced when he feels his partner's mouth press against his own. The general feels himself gasping against Ren, but he doesn't pull away, mostly because he doesn't want to. Any thoughts of struggling go away as he returns the kiss, feeling desperate enough to have this.
It really hasn't been that long, but it still seems like a lifetime ago that they shared something like this. ]
[And Hux is instantly silenced when he feels his partner's mouth press against his own. The general feels himself gasping against Ren, but he doesn't pull away, mostly because he doesn't want to. Any thoughts of struggling go away as he returns the kiss, feeling desperate enough to have this.
It really hasn't been that long, but it still seems like a lifetime ago that they shared something like this. ]
[Kylo had experienced that same feeling himself only two weeks ago, which had fueled his need to confirm that their relationship was real—the memories hadn't settled in right, leaving him uneasy and grasping for anything solid.
So that's why he's fairly sure that this will at least remind Hux of what makes this place so different for them.
It's a good fifteen seconds before Ren finally breaks the kiss, but he keeps his hold on the other man's uniform. He doesn't speak immediately, taking a shaky breath or two first.]
That's why.
So that's why he's fairly sure that this will at least remind Hux of what makes this place so different for them.
It's a good fifteen seconds before Ren finally breaks the kiss, but he keeps his hold on the other man's uniform. He doesn't speak immediately, taking a shaky breath or two first.]
That's why.
[Ren has certainly proven his point.
Sharing that sort of contact with each other... it would never happen back home. Hux can barely stand to be in the same area as the Supreme Leader, let alone share a kiss with him. But right now, being this close to him, it somehow eases some of that tension and hate and Hux leans just a bit more against his partner.]
A-ah...
[Not the most eloquent response he's had.]
Sharing that sort of contact with each other... it would never happen back home. Hux can barely stand to be in the same area as the Supreme Leader, let alone share a kiss with him. But right now, being this close to him, it somehow eases some of that tension and hate and Hux leans just a bit more against his partner.]
A-ah...
[Not the most eloquent response he's had.]
[Hux can't even manage a proper response... it's incredible. At least it's clear that his idea did indeed work, and he mutters a tired and mildly exasperated remark.]
You fool.
[Ren wraps his arms around him, but his hanging head doesn't quite reach the other man's shoulder. He mumbles the words he's been wanting to say this entire time:]
I missed you.
You fool.
[Ren wraps his arms around him, but his hanging head doesn't quite reach the other man's shoulder. He mumbles the words he's been wanting to say this entire time:]
I missed you.
[A f-fool?! How dare Ren!!
But before he can spiral down in a fit of anger, Hux feels himself pulled against Kylo's broad chest. T-this isn't fair! It's--
...It's great to be in his arms once more. Comforting, like he actually has importance to Kylo. He shouldn't be thinking like this, but he can't help it.]
I was only gone for a few days...
[But despite his words, there's a pleased sort of air coming from Hux. He almost seems to be sparkling in a way.]
But before he can spiral down in a fit of anger, Hux feels himself pulled against Kylo's broad chest. T-this isn't fair! It's--
...It's great to be in his arms once more. Comforting, like he actually has importance to Kylo. He shouldn't be thinking like this, but he can't help it.]
I was only gone for a few days...
[But despite his words, there's a pleased sort of air coming from Hux. He almost seems to be sparkling in a way.]
You must have felt the same when I left.
[V9 had said it so clearly, after all, that Hux had been worried. To say Kylo was worried is an understatement—the droid will be sure to inform Master Hux later that Kylo was nearly catatonic at times, so caught up in his loneliness as he was.
It being Selenium didn't help.]
I'm sorry.
[What he's apologizing for, he doesn't even know. He's sure Armitage will find a suitable reason for it.]
[V9 had said it so clearly, after all, that Hux had been worried. To say Kylo was worried is an understatement—the droid will be sure to inform Master Hux later that Kylo was nearly catatonic at times, so caught up in his loneliness as he was.
It being Selenium didn't help.]
I'm sorry.
[What he's apologizing for, he doesn't even know. He's sure Armitage will find a suitable reason for it.]
...You should be sorry.
[Whenever his thoughts drift away, back to the state of their galaxy, he can feel that deep hatred surge up again. It's difficult to simply forget about it, even though they're far away from that conflict. Of course, being in Ren's arms helps him to push down those feelings, but they never go away. Maybe a part of him will always detest Kylo for what happened back home and that will never change.
But he can't simply ignore how he feels right now, held close to his partner. He's not really the Supreme Leader right now, the man that simply choked him and tossed him against a wall. He's the idiot that says embarrassing things to him and cooks meals and makes sure that Hux is fine. Those are things that the Supreme Leader would never do for him.
Instead of reprimanding him more, however, Hux wraps his arms around Ren and keeps quiet.]
[Whenever his thoughts drift away, back to the state of their galaxy, he can feel that deep hatred surge up again. It's difficult to simply forget about it, even though they're far away from that conflict. Of course, being in Ren's arms helps him to push down those feelings, but they never go away. Maybe a part of him will always detest Kylo for what happened back home and that will never change.
But he can't simply ignore how he feels right now, held close to his partner. He's not really the Supreme Leader right now, the man that simply choked him and tossed him against a wall. He's the idiot that says embarrassing things to him and cooks meals and makes sure that Hux is fine. Those are things that the Supreme Leader would never do for him.
Instead of reprimanding him more, however, Hux wraps his arms around Ren and keeps quiet.]
[Leia has been busying herself by doing literally everything and anything that comes to mind rather than actually dealing with her own feelings. Those are something too hard and uncomfortable to deal with, whereas working to help other people is easy and familiar and something that makes her feel like she's being useful.
Even with all those duties, even with Han leaving, Leia can and does still find time to check on how Ben is dealing with the effects of his latest disaster. Much to his displeasure, she's sure. Waiting for Ben to answer the door, it's clear to anyone that knows her well that Leia isn't actually as composed as she both comes off and wants to be seen as. Her eyes look more tired, her body language is more rigid, and that's to say nothing about the slight chill in the air following wherever she goes.]
I wanted to check on you.
[Is the first thing she says whenever Kylo shows up.]
Even with all those duties, even with Han leaving, Leia can and does still find time to check on how Ben is dealing with the effects of his latest disaster. Much to his displeasure, she's sure. Waiting for Ben to answer the door, it's clear to anyone that knows her well that Leia isn't actually as composed as she both comes off and wants to be seen as. Her eyes look more tired, her body language is more rigid, and that's to say nothing about the slight chill in the air following wherever she goes.]
I wanted to check on you.
[Is the first thing she says whenever Kylo shows up.]
[Without the benefit of his extra senses, he has no idea who might be on the other side of the door before he opens it, but at the same time, anyone who might be there would be met with the same level of dull exhaustion.
So when he sees his mother standing there, there's not much of a reaction on his face. His eyes move over her slowly after her greeting of sorts, taking in the tense look about her, and he gets straight to the point.]
That's not all you're here for.
[It's not that he doesn't think she would visit "just to check on him," as she's done it before, even if he suspects that means "checking to see if he's doing something to judge him over." But even without his extra senses, the chill she's carrying about her is plenty to raise his suspicions.]
So when he sees his mother standing there, there's not much of a reaction on his face. His eyes move over her slowly after her greeting of sorts, taking in the tense look about her, and he gets straight to the point.]
That's not all you're here for.
[It's not that he doesn't think she would visit "just to check on him," as she's done it before, even if he suspects that means "checking to see if he's doing something to judge him over." But even without his extra senses, the chill she's carrying about her is plenty to raise his suspicions.]
[She may have hoped he would be, or even that he wouldn't call her out on it even if he noticed, but it's not as though she expected Ben of all people to be convinced by her acting. She may not know next to anything about what things were like raising him, but that doesn't change that he knows her mannerisms and demeanor just as well as anyone, even if he may not want to admit it.
With anyone else, Leia would dismiss that claim, but Ben is different. Because why else was she here? To see him and some sort of remaining echo of Han still in this world, partially, but she also doesn't want him to find out from someone else that Han isn't here any longer.
Pursing her lips, Leia takes a moment to mentally compose herself before she continues. Because even if the ever dropping temperature around her gives away how she's feeling, she doesn't want to let herself go.]
...Your father is gone.
With anyone else, Leia would dismiss that claim, but Ben is different. Because why else was she here? To see him and some sort of remaining echo of Han still in this world, partially, but she also doesn't want him to find out from someone else that Han isn't here any longer.
Pursing her lips, Leia takes a moment to mentally compose herself before she continues. Because even if the ever dropping temperature around her gives away how she's feeling, she doesn't want to let herself go.]
...Your father is gone.
[Any deeper meaning to those words doesn't quite reach Kylo emotionally just yet; he's still stuck in a fog of apathy just to keep himself from going mad from the deafening silence in his head. That doesn't mean, however, that he doesn't realize the significance of the statement.]
Gone.
[The uncertain turn of his head and the twitch in his brow are the only other indications that he's asking for further clarification, but hopefully by now she knows him well enough to know what he's getting at.]
Gone.
[The uncertain turn of his head and the twitch in his brow are the only other indications that he's asking for further clarification, but hopefully by now she knows him well enough to know what he's getting at.]
[She does know what he's getting at, and while part of her is relieved that no one else has thought to tell him already, the other part of her doesn't want to have to admit Han returned. Because somehow saying it aloud makes it more real than every fact she already knew that said he wasn't in this world anymore.]
He returned home.
[Which she knows, and he knows, has happened before. So after a beat, she adds the important detail--]
His crystal is nowhere to be found.
He returned home.
[Which she knows, and he knows, has happened before. So after a beat, she adds the important detail--]
His crystal is nowhere to be found.
[The lack of environmental changes around him don't really make his feelings any less obvious, but it comes in stages. For several seconds, he simply stares at her, apparently frozen in place and not even breathing, but then he seems to remember he needs air and takes in a shaky breath, his gaze turning away from her and focusing on nothing in the distance.
That shaky breath is followed by another, his jaw trembling as he tries to ignore the stinging in his eyes.
He doesn't know if he wants his senses back to confirm it, in that moment. Would she even say something like that to him if it wasn't true—would she be that cruel? He tries not to think very hard about the situation, but there's only so long he can delay it. The thought of restraining his feelings in front of his mother doesn't even cross his mind at that moment; he hardly even registers that she's there anymore.]
That shaky breath is followed by another, his jaw trembling as he tries to ignore the stinging in his eyes.
He doesn't know if he wants his senses back to confirm it, in that moment. Would she even say something like that to him if it wasn't true—would she be that cruel? He tries not to think very hard about the situation, but there's only so long he can delay it. The thought of restraining his feelings in front of his mother doesn't even cross his mind at that moment; he hardly even registers that she's there anymore.]
[Leia doesn't know if his reaction is what she was expecting. Really, she doesn't know what she expected. As much as Ben was always closer and more open with Han, he'd always tried to push the both of them away.
She watches Ben's reaction for a moment or so, her own expression falling as she watches him. Even though she doesn't want to see Ben upset, in a way, it's almost a bit of a comfort seeing she isn't alone in her grief. Not that everyone else she knew here wouldn't attempt to relate, but they didn't know Han really. It wasn't the same.
She isn't sure whether Ben will accept it or not, but Leia decides to try anyway. She reaches out for Ben, placing a hand on his arm in some attempt at comfort for the both of them.]
She watches Ben's reaction for a moment or so, her own expression falling as she watches him. Even though she doesn't want to see Ben upset, in a way, it's almost a bit of a comfort seeing she isn't alone in her grief. Not that everyone else she knew here wouldn't attempt to relate, but they didn't know Han really. It wasn't the same.
She isn't sure whether Ben will accept it or not, but Leia decides to try anyway. She reaches out for Ben, placing a hand on his arm in some attempt at comfort for the both of them.]
[The touch only serves to anchor him firmly to the terrible reality of the situation, and he tenses visibly, hands curling into fists as his jaw tightens, a faint twitch under his left eye.
Although his emotions may not manifest in a supernatural way, they're nonetheless as intense as ever, and he can only take so much. Without a word and pointedly avoiding looking at Leia, he takes a step back and turns to head inside the house with a stricken expression on his face, leaving the door wide open.]
Although his emotions may not manifest in a supernatural way, they're nonetheless as intense as ever, and he can only take so much. Without a word and pointedly avoiding looking at Leia, he takes a step back and turns to head inside the house with a stricken expression on his face, leaving the door wide open.]
[That reaction, at least, is one she's used to. Slowly, she draws her hand back to her, and grips her other hand, purely for the sake of having something to do with it as she considers what to do next.
She doesn't immediately follow after Kylo, but after a few minutes, since the door is open and she doesn't want to leave him like this (and also doesn't want to be by herself, or with someone who doesn't know Han that well), Leia heads inside. She doesn't know where Kylo might have gone, but she figures he can't be too hard to find in this state, even without his powers or emotional effects.]
She doesn't immediately follow after Kylo, but after a few minutes, since the door is open and she doesn't want to leave him like this (and also doesn't want to be by herself, or with someone who doesn't know Han that well), Leia heads inside. She doesn't know where Kylo might have gone, but she figures he can't be too hard to find in this state, even without his powers or emotional effects.]
[Leia only gets a step past the threshold before there's a loud crash from the living room.
A few more steps will reveal the couch flipped over and her son having taken hold of the coffee table, and he tosses it halfway across the room with a shout he cuts short, as if in an ironic attempt to restrain himself. It shakes the floor on impact, leaving scrapes on the wood, but Kylo doesn't even pay it any attention as he moves for the table on the side of the room in long strides, apparently intending to upend it as well.]
A few more steps will reveal the couch flipped over and her son having taken hold of the coffee table, and he tosses it halfway across the room with a shout he cuts short, as if in an ironic attempt to restrain himself. It shakes the floor on impact, leaving scrapes on the wood, but Kylo doesn't even pay it any attention as he moves for the table on the side of the room in long strides, apparently intending to upend it as well.]
[Yeah she's got a pretty good idea that wherever there's crashing, there will be Kylo.
She makes her way to the living room just as he tosses the coffee table, flinching as it lands on the ground. It's hard to not flinch when a table is being tossed around somewhat close to you.
Kylo may have a longer stride than her and may be physically stronger than her, but Leia goes for the same table he's heading toward, bracing both her hands on the table in an attempt to get him to calm down and stop destroying his living room.]
Ben, stop.
She makes her way to the living room just as he tosses the coffee table, flinching as it lands on the ground. It's hard to not flinch when a table is being tossed around somewhat close to you.
Kylo may have a longer stride than her and may be physically stronger than her, but Leia goes for the same table he's heading toward, bracing both her hands on the table in an attempt to get him to calm down and stop destroying his living room.]
Ben, stop.
[For a few brief seconds, he stands there with his own hands on that table, staring at her wide-eyed with an emotion that's hard to identify, but it passes and he rips the table out of her hands, flinging it clear over the fallen couch, the books on top of it and the contents of its drawer flying haphazardly as it falls.
He stares at the disarray with that same overwhelmed look, taking shaky breaths and trembling.]
He stares at the disarray with that same overwhelmed look, taking shaky breaths and trembling.]
[She stumbles back as the table is ripped from her grasp, her arms coming up in front of her protectively almost on instinct. But he doesn't aim for her, and it doesn't hit her on accident, or anything she should have been worried about.
For a moment, she also stares at Ben and what he's done to the room, before tentatively stepping toward him. She doesn't know what she can do to help--or rather, what sort of help or comfort he might accept--but she can't just leave him this way.]
For a moment, she also stares at Ben and what he's done to the room, before tentatively stepping toward him. She doesn't know what she can do to help--or rather, what sort of help or comfort he might accept--but she can't just leave him this way.]
[Ren merely stands there without any indications towards further movement or reactions to her approach, instead looking unsteady on his feet, like he's liable to collapse at the slightest touch.
All of it is only temporary. The surge of violence to distract him from his feelings only works so well as an outlet, and as much as he may try, he can't keep the thoughts of loss from coming. All of them are destined to leave here, and Kylo can only surmise that he's destined to return and suffer until he's lost everything and everyone he cares about.]
All of it is only temporary. The surge of violence to distract him from his feelings only works so well as an outlet, and as much as he may try, he can't keep the thoughts of loss from coming. All of them are destined to leave here, and Kylo can only surmise that he's destined to return and suffer until he's lost everything and everyone he cares about.]
[With him seeming to have exhausted his violent outburst, Leia continues forward, her gaze fixed on him and how unwell he looks. Did she look just as bad? She doesn't know. She figures she did at one point, but she wants to believe she at least looks more composed than she feels, even despite Ben clearly picking out something was upsetting her with only one quick glance.]
You should sit down, Ben. Please.
You should sit down, Ben. Please.
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