Kylo "Worst Disney Princess" Ren (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
Entry tags:
[Ren's own feelings are too complex to make any real sense of, but he at least manages to keep them from bleeding through too strongly now. He has to get a hold of himself—he's stronger than this. He can face his father, he has to. He'll prove he can move past what he's done—Snoke is not here to witness that, but he needs to prove it to himself.
Kylo's own mental voice comes through as steadily as Han's, though it's quiet. He can't project that much confidence right now, but he's trying.]
Yes. I will. [There are things he knows he can't come to his father with—things Han will never really understand—but Han had always been the one to defuse situations when it got heated between him and his mother.
Han wasn't the one who sent him away, either. Han was the one who came back for him in the end.]
I'll... be here if you want to contact me, until then.
Kylo's own mental voice comes through as steadily as Han's, though it's quiet. He can't project that much confidence right now, but he's trying.]
Yes. I will. [There are things he knows he can't come to his father with—things Han will never really understand—but Han had always been the one to defuse situations when it got heated between him and his mother.
Han wasn't the one who sent him away, either. Han was the one who came back for him in the end.]
I'll... be here if you want to contact me, until then.
He had felt it when Kylo Ren had returned, and Obi-Wan had wasted no time. It was his duty to oversee the younger man, as an Enforcer and... well. He wasn't sure what they were. It was a complicated relationship to be sure, but as he had said, Ren was family.
Hux hadn't seemed to object to his presence. They both had the same goal in mind after all. The Jedi had let Ren know of his presence, but it was obvious that the newly returned was in no shape to do much of anything. Thus he gave Ren his space when asked, but was there if he was needed.
Finally, at some point when Ren wasn't resting, and seemed to be in a mood for talking. Obi-Wan came to sit at his side. Speaking in a calm, soft tone.
"I did what you asked."
Hux hadn't seemed to object to his presence. They both had the same goal in mind after all. The Jedi had let Ren know of his presence, but it was obvious that the newly returned was in no shape to do much of anything. Thus he gave Ren his space when asked, but was there if he was needed.
Finally, at some point when Ren wasn't resting, and seemed to be in a mood for talking. Obi-Wan came to sit at his side. Speaking in a calm, soft tone.
"I did what you asked."
Ren's first real attempts to speak with anyone was his message about the creature that had taken him after his death. After that, he'd managed a few more conversations without incident, but they were heavy enough to fatigue him further and make him less receptive to talking often.
He still had yet to get any real sleep—there was a distinct terror that forced his eyes open every time they closed, and any times he simply passed out from exhaustion were accompanied shortly after with nightmares—but he was improving slowly. He was still weak on his feet, but his Force abilities were back more or less enough for him to move around, and he had taken to spending most of his time in a chair he had dragged closer to the glass doors that opened to the back yard.
He was certainly glad for the fact that he'd thought to obtain a house instead of an apartment, at this point. He at least had some semblance privacy, and his own choice of where to stay.
Obi-Wan's presence nearby caught his attention before he spoke, and his eyes went to the Jedi as he sat. It took him a few moments before he understood what the other man meant, but when he did, his mouth opened slightly and his gaze fell to the floor.
"Thank you."
He still had yet to get any real sleep—there was a distinct terror that forced his eyes open every time they closed, and any times he simply passed out from exhaustion were accompanied shortly after with nightmares—but he was improving slowly. He was still weak on his feet, but his Force abilities were back more or less enough for him to move around, and he had taken to spending most of his time in a chair he had dragged closer to the glass doors that opened to the back yard.
He was certainly glad for the fact that he'd thought to obtain a house instead of an apartment, at this point. He at least had some semblance privacy, and his own choice of where to stay.
Obi-Wan's presence nearby caught his attention before he spoke, and his eyes went to the Jedi as he sat. It took him a few moments before he understood what the other man meant, but when he did, his mouth opened slightly and his gaze fell to the floor.
"Thank you."
Ren looked terrible. Obi-Wan knew that he wasn't sleeping well. This is the first time he's witnessed someone coming back from death and it certainly did not look pleasant. Perhaps talking about something would help ease the man's troubled mind if only for a little bit.
"Rey is staying with me for now. Your mother and Poe are also doing well."
He didn't know if he had yet talked to them, but that reassurance is there just the same.
"Rey is staying with me for now. Your mother and Poe are also doing well."
He didn't know if he had yet talked to them, but that reassurance is there just the same.
Ren would be recovering much more quickly if not for the trauma of what that creature put him through, but as it is, he's not doing terribly well. He does appreciate Obi-Wan's company, however.
"Good."
He has spoken with them, at least, but it's still... difficult, knowing that he harmed them when it was completely out of his control. He has no doubt that will continue to affect the way they view him. The pilot isn't so much of a concern, but...
He sighs and leans back in his chair, his gaze on a few plants outside the door. He's silent for a few more moments, bringing his left hand up to rub at the scruffy beard he has yet to shave.
"Did you harm anyone? When that spirit took control?" He remembers their sort-of fight with Luke, but he had fled too quickly to really come to any harm. After that, Ren was too preoccupied with his own battles.
"Good."
He has spoken with them, at least, but it's still... difficult, knowing that he harmed them when it was completely out of his control. He has no doubt that will continue to affect the way they view him. The pilot isn't so much of a concern, but...
He sighs and leans back in his chair, his gaze on a few plants outside the door. He's silent for a few more moments, bringing his left hand up to rub at the scruffy beard he has yet to shave.
"Did you harm anyone? When that spirit took control?" He remembers their sort-of fight with Luke, but he had fled too quickly to really come to any harm. After that, Ren was too preoccupied with his own battles.
The question is not an unexpected one. Not with how Ren obviously felt about harming others while he had been possessed. Though it does bring a bit of a pause from the Jedi as he gathers his thoughts on the matter.
"Yes, I did."
Though he had fortunately kept the spirit from actually killing anyone. Though there had been a few close calls for sure.
"I hurt the Natsume boy, and a froggish fellow. I also almost killed another young man. Fortunately, Anakin was able to stop me."
While he didn't quite have the same burden that Kylo Ren had, Obi-Wan did feel guilt at having hurt his friends. Natsume and Frog would most certainly have scars from the lightsaber wounds he had inflicted. Permanent reminders of what he had done.
"Yes, I did."
Though he had fortunately kept the spirit from actually killing anyone. Though there had been a few close calls for sure.
"I hurt the Natsume boy, and a froggish fellow. I also almost killed another young man. Fortunately, Anakin was able to stop me."
While he didn't quite have the same burden that Kylo Ren had, Obi-Wan did feel guilt at having hurt his friends. Natsume and Frog would most certainly have scars from the lightsaber wounds he had inflicted. Permanent reminders of what he had done.
Ren has to wonder if he might have been stopped by his grandfather. The man is very likely powerful enough to have done it, but he had been preoccupied with his master at the time, it seemed. With he and Obi-Wan preoccupied, and Luke having yet to gain the sort of mastery over the Force that he had, that left Rey... who was killed because she believed herself successful too soon. She had let her guard down...
The tired man rests his face against his hand.
"It's lucky that he was there to do so."
Ren wasn't stopped until all the obelisks were lit, and he simply collapsed at that point. No one had been able to exorcise the phantom from his body. He wonders if it might have been possible at all.
The tired man rests his face against his hand.
"It's lucky that he was there to do so."
Ren wasn't stopped until all the obelisks were lit, and he simply collapsed at that point. No one had been able to exorcise the phantom from his body. He wonders if it might have been possible at all.
Obi-Wan silently agreed. He hated to think what might have become of Ludger had Anakin not done so. He surely would have run the boy through with his lightsaber while under the influence of the mind trick. He was one such person the Jedi had yet to apologize to.
"You should rest. Is there anything I can do that will help you sleep?"
Of course, he could use the Force or pressure points to knock Ren out if that was needed. Though it would be better if the man managed to sleep himself.
"You should rest. Is there anything I can do that will help you sleep?"
Of course, he could use the Force or pressure points to knock Ren out if that was needed. Though it would be better if the man managed to sleep himself.
Sleep would be wonderful, but if he was honest, even consciously he was afraid that that... thing might come and take him while he was unconscious. It was still too real a fear for him to be able to actively try to sleep, even if he could close his eyes for any length of time without a more subconscious terror taking hold of him and forcing them open.
The brightness of the sunlight outside hurts his eyes a bit, but it's a reassuring sight nonetheless, so he likes to focus on it.
"If you could make me forget that creature, that would probably help."
It's clear he doesn't actually expect Obi-Wan to be able to do something like that.
The brightness of the sunlight outside hurts his eyes a bit, but it's a reassuring sight nonetheless, so he likes to focus on it.
"If you could make me forget that creature, that would probably help."
It's clear he doesn't actually expect Obi-Wan to be able to do something like that.
He raises his brows slightly at that. Yes, he had felt Ren's fear, and it was understandable. Though making his forget about it? Well, he's good but he might not be that good.
"With a mind trick there's a chance I could temporarily, but I can't guarantee it would work."
After all, Ren is a force user and thus not weak minded. He would have to be very open to the suggestion. And even then, it's still complicated and not to mention a strong emotion.
"Though I can stay here with you if that would help."
He will protect you from the monsters, Ben.
"With a mind trick there's a chance I could temporarily, but I can't guarantee it would work."
After all, Ren is a force user and thus not weak minded. He would have to be very open to the suggestion. And even then, it's still complicated and not to mention a strong emotion.
"Though I can stay here with you if that would help."
He will protect you from the monsters, Ben.
Ren lets out a weak chuckle, not having expected Obi-Wan to respond to the suggestion seriously. He simply shakes his head, closing his eyes for just a few short seconds before opening them again.
If there's one thing he's certain of, it's that he has no desire to be left alone for a while. Even if the Enforcers hadn't decided to guard him, that would still be the case.
"I appreciate your presence."
Obi-Wan is the only Force user here whom he's not fought, and one of two who have not harmed him. Unfortunately, the other who hasn't harmed him was also the one who was with him when the monster came... and was unable to do anything about it.
He knows that there's likely nothing that could stop that thing if it really wanted him, but it's easier to pretend around Obi-Wan that he's safe. Ren slowly lifts his head from his hand, turning slightly towards the Jedi.
"Perhaps some tea."
If there's one thing he's certain of, it's that he has no desire to be left alone for a while. Even if the Enforcers hadn't decided to guard him, that would still be the case.
"I appreciate your presence."
Obi-Wan is the only Force user here whom he's not fought, and one of two who have not harmed him. Unfortunately, the other who hasn't harmed him was also the one who was with him when the monster came... and was unable to do anything about it.
He knows that there's likely nothing that could stop that thing if it really wanted him, but it's easier to pretend around Obi-Wan that he's safe. Ren slowly lifts his head from his hand, turning slightly towards the Jedi.
"Perhaps some tea."
Well... he did want to help. In any way that he could. Ren's suffering has been long, drawn out, and unnecessary in his opinion. Obi-Wan wasn't really confident he could take anyone's memories away, but... this hardly seemed the time for jokes. The chuckle from Ren though was a bit encouraging.
"Then I will stay," he says. Not that he's going to be going much of anywhere anyway, but if the man wants company, far be it from Obi-Wan to deny it.
"Now tea, is something I can certainly do. Is there any particular kind you prefer?"
"Then I will stay," he says. Not that he's going to be going much of anywhere anyway, but if the man wants company, far be it from Obi-Wan to deny it.
"Now tea, is something I can certainly do. Is there any particular kind you prefer?"
Ren honestly wouldn't have been quite as affected by the whole ordeal if not for that spirit—he would have been able to move past the slow drain and the death, since they were over now. But the creature that took him left its mark in more than one way, and by this point it's probably obvious to Obi-Wan that his right arm is practically unusable.
He's determined to move past all of it, of course, but for now... he was having trouble. The most he could manage was an occasional numbness about it all.
"Whatever is in the pantry will do."
Ren could only afford to be so picky right now, and honestly, after a month of prison food, practically anything else was worth having.
He's determined to move past all of it, of course, but for now... he was having trouble. The most he could manage was an occasional numbness about it all.
"Whatever is in the pantry will do."
Ren could only afford to be so picky right now, and honestly, after a month of prison food, practically anything else was worth having.
He's an obsevant man and has indeed taken mental note of what was bothering Ren. From the internal conflict and the reduced use of that one arm. But he said nothing of it for now. Instead, the Jedi simply nodded and went to go make that tea.
It would take a few minutes, but he would soon return with a pair of steaming cups. Offering one to Ren on the side where his good arm could better reach it. Once he took it, Obi-Wan would settle himself down into the chair again.
"Chamomile. I've heard this herb is good for relaxation."
It would take a few minutes, but he would soon return with a pair of steaming cups. Offering one to Ren on the side where his good arm could better reach it. Once he took it, Obi-Wan would settle himself down into the chair again.
"Chamomile. I've heard this herb is good for relaxation."
"That's what they've said," Ren replied after taking the mug in hand. He stared at his hand a moment, then the drink itself, and let out a silent sigh.
He missed his gloves. He should have been properly dressed instead of sitting around in his night clothes. He needed to wash himself, make a good meal, clean his house after such a long absence, do his usual training... but all of that sounded like so much effort. If he could just sleep properly for one night, that might be enough to get him out of this awful rut.
He didn't know how long that would take, but the tea certainly couldn't hurt.
"It's strange," he said after a sip and a few seconds of silence. "That people from so many different worlds would be familiar with the sorts of plants and creatures found here, when we're not."
He couldn't help but think of his father's stupid message about horses, months ago.
He missed his gloves. He should have been properly dressed instead of sitting around in his night clothes. He needed to wash himself, make a good meal, clean his house after such a long absence, do his usual training... but all of that sounded like so much effort. If he could just sleep properly for one night, that might be enough to get him out of this awful rut.
He didn't know how long that would take, but the tea certainly couldn't hurt.
"It's strange," he said after a sip and a few seconds of silence. "That people from so many different worlds would be familiar with the sorts of plants and creatures found here, when we're not."
He couldn't help but think of his father's stupid message about horses, months ago.
"That is rather curious. I can only gather that many people here come from a similar world to this one. We do seem to be among the oddities here."
The Jedi sipped at his tea, not finding it disagreeable. In fact it was a rather pleasant taste. He had even put a but of honey in then also. Sugar and saliva from some sort of stinging insect from what he understands. He can only assume it's a delicacy. At least it tastes good.
"I've taken in one of the local creatures myself. A cat, they call it. Perhaps a pet would be good for you as well."
The Jedi sipped at his tea, not finding it disagreeable. In fact it was a rather pleasant taste. He had even put a but of honey in then also. Sugar and saliva from some sort of stinging insect from what he understands. He can only assume it's a delicacy. At least it tastes good.
"I've taken in one of the local creatures myself. A cat, they call it. Perhaps a pet would be good for you as well."
Edited (Typos) 2016-06-16 19:25 (UTC)
The tea was a bit too sweet for Ren's tastes, but he at least had the decency to drink it without complaint. If it could help him rest, he would take it, and it was a great deal better than the drinks he was served in prison. And after all Obi-Wan had done for him without question, Ren couldn't find it in himself to be snippy about the specifics.
Ren let out a noise somewhere between a huff and a snort at the suggestion. Kylo Ren, having a pet. He's certain that everyone who knew him would find it absurd—even if it was a creature trained for battle. As for his personal opinion?
"I don't like animals."
Having a pet wandering around his house as it pleased? He would hate it. Even if he were to admit to needing more patience, subjecting another living creature to his temper probably wouldn't be the best way to remedy it.
Ren let out a noise somewhere between a huff and a snort at the suggestion. Kylo Ren, having a pet. He's certain that everyone who knew him would find it absurd—even if it was a creature trained for battle. As for his personal opinion?
"I don't like animals."
Having a pet wandering around his house as it pleased? He would hate it. Even if he were to admit to needing more patience, subjecting another living creature to his temper probably wouldn't be the best way to remedy it.
"Ah, well that's a pity. Anakin was never very good with animals either. I suppose you get that from him."
And the Jedi takes another sip of his tea. Kylo would just have to do with human company then. Obi-Wan certainly wouldn't want to further insist on a pet and subject some poor creature to someone who likely wouldn't appreciate it.
And the Jedi takes another sip of his tea. Kylo would just have to do with human company then. Obi-Wan certainly wouldn't want to further insist on a pet and subject some poor creature to someone who likely wouldn't appreciate it.
Ren hummed his acknowledgement at first in lieu of a response as he took a drink. It made sense—his grandfather was certainly a volatile man, even as he was currently. Even though Ren had taken on a more negative view of the man, he could still see certain similarities between them. It was something he'd had to accept after the entire galaxy learned of his lineage.
"That's not surprising."
Though the idea of a pet did bring forward thoughts of what to do now that he was going to be confined within his home for however long. He had a little more freedom, at least, but it wasn't as if he had many hobbies...
"Do you think your employers would be opposed to letting me train?"
With his right arm out of commission, it would be difficult to use a saber the way he did before, and while he still felt what he told Hux was true—that his abilities with the Force could defend him just as well as his saber—it would still be good to get accustomed to favoring his left arm. There wasn't any disadvantage to the idea, as far as Ren was concerned, but he was almost certain those who wanted him confined would rather he not become that much more able to fight.
... It wasn't really something he could do right now, of course, since he had yet to recover his strength, but it was something to work towards in the future, if possible.
"That's not surprising."
Though the idea of a pet did bring forward thoughts of what to do now that he was going to be confined within his home for however long. He had a little more freedom, at least, but it wasn't as if he had many hobbies...
"Do you think your employers would be opposed to letting me train?"
With his right arm out of commission, it would be difficult to use a saber the way he did before, and while he still felt what he told Hux was true—that his abilities with the Force could defend him just as well as his saber—it would still be good to get accustomed to favoring his left arm. There wasn't any disadvantage to the idea, as far as Ren was concerned, but he was almost certain those who wanted him confined would rather he not become that much more able to fight.
... It wasn't really something he could do right now, of course, since he had yet to recover his strength, but it was something to work towards in the future, if possible.
Obi-Wan is about to take another sip of tea when Ren's question causes him to pause. He then lowers the cup again with a slight frown, thinking that over.
"I highly doubt they would approve allowing you access to your lightsaber just yet."
Though it wasn't for lack of Obi-Wan's belief that Kylo Ren has learned his lesson, but rather everyone else doesn't trust him.
"But I will see what I can do."
Maybe he can at least get an idea of when they would allow it.
"I highly doubt they would approve allowing you access to your lightsaber just yet."
Though it wasn't for lack of Obi-Wan's belief that Kylo Ren has learned his lesson, but rather everyone else doesn't trust him.
"But I will see what I can do."
Maybe he can at least get an idea of when they would allow it.
Ren would agree with that—as unstable as he is, and with as recent as his last killing, he would be very surprised if they were amenable to such a suggestion so soon. In the future, however—well, he intends to prove himself as an... acceptable citizen, if not entirely agreeable. He's not about to start agreeing to every little thing, of course. He wouldn't be able to stand it.
They'll give him more freedom eventually. He's sure of it.
"In time, of course. It's not exactly relevant at the moment."
Right now, he'll have to deal with cards and books and board games. Frivolous, certainly, but they pass the time.
They'll give him more freedom eventually. He's sure of it.
"In time, of course. It's not exactly relevant at the moment."
Right now, he'll have to deal with cards and books and board games. Frivolous, certainly, but they pass the time.
"There are other ways to train, of course. Meditation should help calm your mind as well."
And of course other small activities like, yes, board games. But he didn't have to cease doing whatever it was Kylo Ren normally did. Not completely. Baby steps. Obi-Wan was certain that in time, Ren would prove himself to be less of a threat.
That is if he continued to behave himself of course. But after the horrific incident with creature that took him, it had seemed rather effective in setting him somewhat straight again.
And of course other small activities like, yes, board games. But he didn't have to cease doing whatever it was Kylo Ren normally did. Not completely. Baby steps. Obi-Wan was certain that in time, Ren would prove himself to be less of a threat.
That is if he continued to behave himself of course. But after the horrific incident with creature that took him, it had seemed rather effective in setting him somewhat straight again.
"The physical things are easier."
That's always been the case for him; but especially now. Even in his weakened state, he's certain he could manage a few saber forms better than he could any meditation. Calm wasn't a state that came to him easily.
It was true, however, that he didn't intend to do anyone any further harm. It would serve no purpose here, and the only ones he'd ever been interested in harming were those that he intended to eliminate entirely. Since they couldn't die... well, no point wasting effort on them.
Even so, he did intend to defend himself if he could, especially after that terrifying experience. He wasn't going to die and face that thing again, he couldn't. ... And he didn't want any of those around him being forced to meet it, either. At this point, he wasn't even sure if he'd allow his enemies to die on this planet if he was capable of preventing it.
That's always been the case for him; but especially now. Even in his weakened state, he's certain he could manage a few saber forms better than he could any meditation. Calm wasn't a state that came to him easily.
It was true, however, that he didn't intend to do anyone any further harm. It would serve no purpose here, and the only ones he'd ever been interested in harming were those that he intended to eliminate entirely. Since they couldn't die... well, no point wasting effort on them.
Even so, he did intend to defend himself if he could, especially after that terrifying experience. He wasn't going to die and face that thing again, he couldn't. ... And he didn't want any of those around him being forced to meet it, either. At this point, he wasn't even sure if he'd allow his enemies to die on this planet if he was capable of preventing it.
"Easier they may be, but that doesn't mean you should neglect your mind. Without it, your body is nothing."
Really Ren, it's no wonder you're so conflicted and emotionally unstable. You need to meditate to calm those emotions. But then, he likely already knows that, having been taught as a Jedi and rejected it.
Really Ren, it's no wonder you're so conflicted and emotionally unstable. You need to meditate to calm those emotions. But then, he likely already knows that, having been taught as a Jedi and rejected it.
Ren let out a huff; it was clear he knew Obi-Wan was right, but didn't particularly like it. Hunching his shoulders, he turned his head away with a sour look on his face. It gave off the effect of a child being grumpy about being scolded.
"I know."
He did intend to work on the mental things eventually, but he was very much a physical person. He found his calm through acting, not sitting and doing nothing, which is what he was being forced to do right now just because of his poor health. When he regained his strength, his mind would return to something more steady.
"I'm not... capable of doing much with it at the moment."
It was easier to admit it to Obi-Wan than to Hux, and he'd already done the latter. Every time his thoughts wandered, it just came back to that... thing.
"I know."
He did intend to work on the mental things eventually, but he was very much a physical person. He found his calm through acting, not sitting and doing nothing, which is what he was being forced to do right now just because of his poor health. When he regained his strength, his mind would return to something more steady.
"I'm not... capable of doing much with it at the moment."
It was easier to admit it to Obi-Wan than to Hux, and he'd already done the latter. Every time his thoughts wandered, it just came back to that... thing.
Edited (i forgot he was holding something.) 2016-06-28 05:57 (UTC)
Page 3 of 49