[He crosses his arms and tries to look unaffected by Ren's comments. Just because they're closer now, it doesn't mean Hux can just let himself react to every one of his comments. No, he should still be better than that.
Well, except for the fact that he can't resist a challenge, especially when Ren puts it like that. Perhaps that makes him easy to manipulate, but he's willing to let himself be goaded just so that he can prove Ren wrong about the meditation bit.]
I could mediate just fine. [He walks closer to Ren, looking a little grumpy about this.]
[Kylo still hasn't moved from his initial position, legs folded and sitting in the middle of the floor. Despite it being his room, it's not terribly big, but even so there's plenty of space for Hux to take a seat in front of him.]
That surprises me, if your understanding of it is "sitting down and being unproductive."
[He follows Hux with his gaze, resting his hands against his knees and watching Hux evenly when he sits. Not that his expression could be identified through the mask.]
Stillness. [He allows the word to hang in the air, to emphasize the idea. It's requires a deliberate effort, and yes, a period of time where you "do nothing." But it's much more significant than just that. There is a purpose to it.
Ren will be surprised if Hux, a man who rejects everything he can't see with his own eyes, is able to accomplish it.]
It's emptying yourself and your mind of everything, allowing things [The Force, really, but he knows Hux would roll his eyes at that] to flow through you unimpeded.
[He pauses for a moment, considering how to explain it.]
Think of it like washing out a dirty flask. Or emptying an old sack. What was in it before may have helped you at some point, but it's better to clean it so you can reconsider the things you should be putting in it now.
[To Hux, 'stillness' meant doing nothing. A waste of time and opportunity rather than having something productive be done. But. He's willing to hear Ren out, just because he actually likes-- tolerates him now. ...Okay, likes.
Still, he tries to make sense of what Ren's telling him.]
You're basically stating that I must think of nothing and allow the Force to go through me. [HE HEARS WHAT REN WANTS TO SAY... also, no wonder Ren is good at this.]
And now you're saying to categorize items that may still be useful to me in the present time.
[Hux will hear no argument about the first part of his interpretation. That is basically what he was going for, yes. Even if he was hoping the absence of a mention of the Force would help Hux take it more seriously.]
[He looks at Ren for a little while longer, before he eventually closes his eyes as suggested. Now comes the real challenge, trying to think of nothing, emptying himself of all thoughts.]
...
[He's definitely silent and it seems to be working, but just a few seconds later, his mind strays to other things. The Order, returning home, the next lead that he should follow, anything but just remaining blank.]
[Ren, of course, can tell when there's stillness and when there's not, even if he can't directly read what's going on in Hux's head. The fact that the general needs coaching is no surprise, so he's prepared.
His words are quiet and deliberate, his tone meant to help ease Hux into the proper mindset.]
Empty your mind. There is nothing else that needs your attention right now. Set everything aside.
[There's a small amount of frustration that's coming from Hux, aware that he's not quite emptying his mind as instructed. While some part of him knows that Ren is only trying to help, his agitation only increases from the advice.]
There's always something that requires my attention.
[That is true back on the Finalizer at least, although they're in Verens now. However, Hux can't help his natural response to a comment like that.]
[A frown crosses his face at the retort, but perhaps surprisingly, Hux doesn't continue to argue with him. Instead, he keeps his mouth closed and tries to do what he's told. This isn't something he wants to fail, especially after telling Ren that he can do it.]
...
[Hux lasts longer this time and when his thoughts threaten to reemerge, he attempts to shove it down. It's definitely not perfect, but he's definitely trying at least.]
[It's an admirable attempt, even if Kylo thinks it won't last terribly long. Even so, he won't interrupt Hux's concentration with any comments, and instead closes his eyes as he focuses on emptying his own mind.
These moments of silence have become even more necessary since he's been here, plagued by things he'd never had to question and the constant buzz of the crystal network in a space he'd mostly had to himself before. Hux attempting to join in with the silence can only help, Ren thinks—at least, until the redhead gets fed up with it.]
[The struggle between keeping his mind blank and letting his thoughts wander back to objectives and missions finally stops as Hux opens eyes with a frustrated noise. He lasted about five minutes, but it's apparent that the general seems more frustrated now than earlier. He doesn't want to admit that he couldn't meditate properly, but Hux knows that his failure is rather obvious.]
[He's definitely not trying to meditate any longer. Maybe he'll try again some other time, just to show Ren that he's capable of it at least, but not right now. Instead, he's staring at the masked man sitting across from him, almost trying to guess what is going through his head.]
[He's shared enough of his issues with Hux that he feels confident in that statement, and he has no desire to go into the details at the moment. He's trying to brush that sort of thing away, not focus on it.]
[If Ren doesn't want to talk about them, then Hux won't bring it up again. It's unnecessary anyway and he needs to save all his patience for Skywalker Drama in the future. Although, admittedly, he gives somewhat of a damn about Ren's problems than the other members of his melodramatic family.]
How long do you meditate, normally? [He'll go back to the current conversation. Hux wants to see how long Ren can do this, a sort of goal to aim for.]
[He doesn't sound so much accusatory as he does curious. Surely the General knows their minds work very differently, just as much as they differ in their roles within the Order.]
I've been trained for years to focus on the Force and allow nothing else to impede it. I didn't learn how to maintain it for that long in a day.
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lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
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Well, except for the fact that he can't resist a challenge, especially when Ren puts it like that. Perhaps that makes him easy to manipulate, but he's willing to let himself be goaded just so that he can prove Ren wrong about the meditation bit.]
I could mediate just fine. [He walks closer to Ren, looking a little grumpy about this.]
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[Kylo still hasn't moved from his initial position, legs folded and sitting in the middle of the floor. Despite it being his room, it's not terribly big, but even so there's plenty of space for Hux to take a seat in front of him.]
That surprises me, if your understanding of it is "sitting down and being unproductive."
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Well, how would you describe it then?
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Stillness. [He allows the word to hang in the air, to emphasize the idea. It's requires a deliberate effort, and yes, a period of time where you "do nothing." But it's much more significant than just that. There is a purpose to it.
Ren will be surprised if Hux, a man who rejects everything he can't see with his own eyes, is able to accomplish it.]
It's emptying yourself and your mind of everything, allowing things [The Force, really, but he knows Hux would roll his eyes at that] to flow through you unimpeded.
[He pauses for a moment, considering how to explain it.]
Think of it like washing out a dirty flask. Or emptying an old sack. What was in it before may have helped you at some point, but it's better to clean it so you can reconsider the things you should be putting in it now.
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Still, he tries to make sense of what Ren's telling him.]
You're basically stating that I must think of nothing and allow the Force to go through me. [HE HEARS WHAT REN WANTS TO SAY... also, no wonder Ren is good at this.]
And now you're saying to categorize items that may still be useful to me in the present time.
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Items meaning thoughts and feelings, yes.
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I must think of nothing while separating my thoughts and feelings? That seems contradictory.
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The "categorization" comes after. Meditation is the "emptying" that allows you to see things more clearly, when you're finished.
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Right. Well, first I must 'empty' myself of all thought. I suppose I'll get to the filtering afterward.
[He stares at Ren's mask, almost trying to read him through that. Sometimes he's able to, but other times it's far more difficult.]
Do you close your eyes underneath that thing to help with your concentration?
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It does help with blocking things out, yes.
[For a little while, he'll be watching, though.]
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...
[He's definitely silent and it seems to be working, but just a few seconds later, his mind strays to other things. The Order, returning home, the next lead that he should follow, anything but just remaining blank.]
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His words are quiet and deliberate, his tone meant to help ease Hux into the proper mindset.]
Empty your mind. There is nothing else that needs your attention right now. Set everything aside.
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There's always something that requires my attention.
[That is true back on the Finalizer at least, although they're in Verens now. However, Hux can't help his natural response to a comment like that.]
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You can either do it, or not do it. Arguing will not help you find calm.
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...
[Hux lasts longer this time and when his thoughts threaten to reemerge, he attempts to shove it down. It's definitely not perfect, but he's definitely trying at least.]
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These moments of silence have become even more necessary since he's been here, plagued by things he'd never had to question and the constant buzz of the crystal network in a space he'd mostly had to himself before. Hux attempting to join in with the silence can only help, Ren thinks—at least, until the redhead gets fed up with it.]
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I fail to see how you find this relieving.
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Ren takes a slow breath, and his voice is almost sleepy when he responds, though it's clear enough and he's not mumbling.]
Spending a few moments to quiet my mind... It's important, when conflict comes so easily.
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[He's definitely not trying to meditate any longer. Maybe he'll try again some other time, just to show Ren that he's capable of it at least, but not right now. Instead, he's staring at the masked man sitting across from him, almost trying to guess what is going through his head.]
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[He's shared enough of his issues with Hux that he feels confident in that statement, and he has no desire to go into the details at the moment. He's trying to brush that sort of thing away, not focus on it.]
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[If Ren doesn't want to talk about them, then Hux won't bring it up again. It's unnecessary anyway and he needs to save all his patience for Skywalker Drama in the future. Although, admittedly, he gives somewhat of a damn about Ren's problems than the other members of his melodramatic family.]
How long do you meditate, normally? [He'll go back to the current conversation. Hux wants to see how long Ren can do this, a sort of goal to aim for.]
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[Good luck on reaching that, Hux.]
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You are able to not think of anything for hours? [Just the thought of that is stressful to Hux.]
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[He doesn't sound so much accusatory as he does curious. Surely the General knows their minds work very differently, just as much as they differ in their roles within the Order.]
I've been trained for years to focus on the Force and allow nothing else to impede it. I didn't learn how to maintain it for that long in a day.
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[Hux admitted, not bothering to hide what he truly means from Ren this time.]
Imagining it is stressful for me.
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