[Hux nods against him, but despite his agreement, he doesn't pull away just yet. He wants this moment to last longer... he wants to be close after trying to stay apart from Ren for a week now. It was difficult, far more difficult than he wants to admit.]
...I'm sorry.
[Probably the second time he's ever apologized to him.]
[He's not going to argue for a longer embrace, especially after all the time Armitage has been distant with him. He takes in a slow breath, savoring the moment.
Apologies are rare from the other man. Kylo has learned to appreciate them when they come.]
[Normally, this is where Hux would keep silent or just return home without any more incidents occurring. However, not only does he keep his grip on Kylo, a quiet, but still audible comment comes from the general.]
[It means more than just waiting at home and existing in the same space occasionally. Even if he did spend time with Rey while Hux was gone, it doesn't erase his feelings for the other man.]
I'm not about to forget you just because you're not there.
[He's been truly foolish, hasn't he? Overreacting to this, thinking that Ren doesn't care at all despite the fact that he's been told otherwise numerous times. Hux can see now that he's been blinded by his own jealousy and hate all of that almost hurt Ren.]
...I was jealous. Afraid you were going to think I'm not as good as her.
[A small part of Hux scoffs at the idea of even considering that Rey is better than him, but most of him has been afraid of being replaced. Perhaps it's because of his past experience with Cardinal or just being aware of Rey's powers and her connection to Ren, but he's been unable to get rid of that feeling for days now.]
I know, perhaps. But I thought it was still possible that you would replace me.
[In a way, Kylo is glad to be confronting this, having Armitage pull out his fears and giving them voice so that he can refute them for good. Maybe it will give the other man more reassurance than previous attempts to comfort him, to have a more direct avenue into the issue like this.]
We've been through too much together. It's not the same as what I have with her. It's not replaceable, and neither are you.
[Is it really possible to care about two people in a similar manner like that? Hux doesn't know, but perhaps Ren is capable of that. Maybe he's just desperate to believe that, although he knows that his partner wouldn't lie to him about this. So for now, he'll have to believe Ren... trust that even though he and Rey are different, Ren still cares for them both equally.
It's hard.]
Promise me, Kylo. [He wants that last reassurance.] That you won't replace me.
[Kylo brings his hands up, placing them on either side of Hux's face as he looks intensely into Hux's eyes. He doesn't want to be seen as anything other than completely serious when he says it.]
[Hux sucks in a breath, hearing the promise spoken with such sincerity is deeply comforting. Sure, it's just words, but he's putting his trust in them. It's what he should do, even if it's so easy to break a promise.]
...Okay.
[There's water in his eyes suddenly, but Hux doesn't do anything about it.]
[While Ren doesn't exactly smile, there's a certain lightness and relief in his gaze when he hears his partner accept that promise, even if his heart aches at seeing Hux tearing up. Still—he can tell they're tears of something positive, rather than grief, and he'll accept that as a good reason for Armitage to cry.
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lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
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...I'm sorry.
[Probably the second time he's ever apologized to him.]
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Apologies are rare from the other man. Kylo has learned to appreciate them when they come.]
It's alright.
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I thought you were just going to be with her.
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[It means more than just waiting at home and existing in the same space occasionally. Even if he did spend time with Rey while Hux was gone, it doesn't erase his feelings for the other man.]
I'm not about to forget you just because you're not there.
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[He's been truly foolish, hasn't he? Overreacting to this, thinking that Ren doesn't care at all despite the fact that he's been told otherwise numerous times. Hux can see now that he's been blinded by his own jealousy and hate all of that almost hurt Ren.]
...I was jealous. Afraid you were going to think I'm not as good as her.
[Being honest about feelings??]
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I don't blame you for your feelings—but you know that's not true, don't you?
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I know, perhaps. But I thought it was still possible that you would replace me.
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[In a way, Kylo is glad to be confronting this, having Armitage pull out his fears and giving them voice so that he can refute them for good. Maybe it will give the other man more reassurance than previous attempts to comfort him, to have a more direct avenue into the issue like this.]
We've been through too much together. It's not the same as what I have with her. It's not replaceable, and neither are you.
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It's hard.]
Promise me, Kylo. [He wants that last reassurance.] That you won't replace me.
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I promise.
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...Okay.
[There's water in his eyes suddenly, but Hux doesn't do anything about it.]
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Softly, he says:]
Let's go home.