[there's a bit of silence. the line's open, han's just...trying to figure out what to say. he can't guess at their shared history if ren doesn't want to share it, and he can't physically track ren down to lay a hand on his shoulder or something. he didn't feel particularly useless sitting in his cell until just now and he's not sure how to handle it. he wants to word things right, but turning it over and over in his mind is getting frustrating so in the end, after an extended silence, it's something somewhat muted but entirely honest that comes out.]
So there's somethin' between us. Don't change the fact that you're my kid.
[that's all there is to it, really. even if he got really, really angry at ren he would still be han's. no take-backs.]
[Ren doesn't even recognize the sudden chill that comes around the area he's in—he's too overwhelmed by his father's words to pay any attention to the outside world at all. He brings his hand over his face, closing his eyes against the sting of tears.
He can't even "voice" any words. Silent gratitude comes through the connection, sincere but pained, almost desperate. It's clear that that acceptance is something he's wanted, but it's also something he fears won't really hold if and when the truth is finally revealed. There's so much Han doesn't know.]
[han didn't really expect that level of emotion and suddenly finds himself with some uncomfortable thoughts. obviously either he's going to be a really shitty dad or what ren has apparently done is really awful. frankly at this point he's leaning toward the latter--he doesn't have a whole lot of confidence in his own dad abilities but he's pretty sure he would do his best to look after his own kid.
as han tries to work through this, finn's comment about ren being the type to stab him in the chest comes to mind and he pushes it to the back of his mind with aggressive speed. he's not going to even consider this when they're not talking face to face. he's just...not. even though it almost makes sense. because it almost makes sense.
a few minutes pass. han doesn't bother to hold his emotions back--surprise, a touch of fear, and then almost aggressive resolve. his mind is made up on this one and nobody's going to change it.]
Listen, Ben.
[telepathy is so weird. if he were talking out loud his voice would probably be hoarse by now from emotion, but through the amulet he's able to sound pretty normal. calm. he's pretty grateful for that, honestly.]
Come by and see me sometime, all right? It's, uh, pretty borin' in here already. An' if there's something bothering you I could help with--
[he cuts himself off, wondering if he's pushing too hard. well, the last thing he wants is for ren to suddenly shut him out, so he pushes forward anyway.]
[Ren's own feelings are too complex to make any real sense of, but he at least manages to keep them from bleeding through too strongly now. He has to get a hold of himself—he's stronger than this. He can face his father, he has to. He'll prove he can move past what he's done—Snoke is not here to witness that, but he needs to prove it to himself.
Kylo's own mental voice comes through as steadily as Han's, though it's quiet. He can't project that much confidence right now, but he's trying.]
Yes. I will. [There are things he knows he can't come to his father with—things Han will never really understand—but Han had always been the one to defuse situations when it got heated between him and his mother.
Han wasn't the one who sent him away, either. Han was the one who came back for him in the end.]
I'll... be here if you want to contact me, until then.
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lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
no subject
So there's somethin' between us. Don't change the fact that you're my kid.
[that's all there is to it, really. even if he got really, really angry at ren he would still be han's. no take-backs.]
no subject
He can't even "voice" any words. Silent gratitude comes through the connection, sincere but pained, almost desperate. It's clear that that acceptance is something he's wanted, but it's also something he fears won't really hold if and when the truth is finally revealed. There's so much Han doesn't know.]
no subject
as han tries to work through this, finn's comment about ren being the type to stab him in the chest comes to mind and he pushes it to the back of his mind with aggressive speed. he's not going to even consider this when they're not talking face to face. he's just...not. even though it almost makes sense. because it almost makes sense.
a few minutes pass. han doesn't bother to hold his emotions back--surprise, a touch of fear, and then almost aggressive resolve. his mind is made up on this one and nobody's going to change it.]
Listen, Ben.
[telepathy is so weird. if he were talking out loud his voice would probably be hoarse by now from emotion, but through the amulet he's able to sound pretty normal. calm. he's pretty grateful for that, honestly.]
Come by and see me sometime, all right? It's, uh, pretty borin' in here already. An' if there's something bothering you I could help with--
[he cuts himself off, wondering if he's pushing too hard. well, the last thing he wants is for ren to suddenly shut him out, so he pushes forward anyway.]
I'm, uh, I'm your dad, so you should let me know.
no subject
Kylo's own mental voice comes through as steadily as Han's, though it's quiet. He can't project that much confidence right now, but he's trying.]
Yes. I will. [There are things he knows he can't come to his father with—things Han will never really understand—but Han had always been the one to defuse situations when it got heated between him and his mother.
Han wasn't the one who sent him away, either. Han was the one who came back for him in the end.]
I'll... be here if you want to contact me, until then.