lostapprentice | Empatheias Mailbox/Amulet

[It's not much of an answer, if she was hoping for something direct, but that hum tells Leia more than enough about Snoke and Ben's relationship. Because if he's not saying, then he must have known him for some time before then, and that just worries her. Just how long had Ben known Snoke? Was it something she, Han, and Luke could have seen but missed? It raises a lot of questions, some Leia doesn't exactly want answers to, but needs to know, if it will help her understand Ben and why things turned out this way.]

For how long?

[She only has a feeling it's longer than he's been letting on, perhaps before he destroyed Luke's school and his other students. And because she feels he's been in contact with this Snoke for so long, Leia can't help but add on:]

He can't hear you here.

[Kylo's answer is quiet, almost... resigned. He seems to have lost most of the anger related to Leia's presence and the earlier part of their conversation. Thinking about Snoke these days just drains him of feeling, and the chair starts to go grey under him.]

I don't know.

[That answer is exactly what she feared. She can't control the chill that settles around the both of them at those three words. Because it's an answer, yes, but it's an answer that invites more questions than it answers, about Ben's actions and childhood and things she and Han should have but evidently didn't notice.

Her concern, and even a fair amount of fear, is evident on her expression, and she makes no effort to hide it. Even if she wanted to, even with all the practice and training she's had putting on a mask in front of others, she would've found it difficult to conceal those emotions.]

He's not here.

[Which she knows she just said, but she repeats it, and she isn't sure whether it's to reassure Ben or herself.]

[Ren sighs, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms once more.]

I know he's not.

[Force knows he would have sensed it, even aside from all the things he's gotten up to.]

He would have let his disapproval for my actions known long ago if he were.

[She expected as much, with that. Ben has mellowed out considerably since she first arrived and met him here, and as the Supreme Leader of the First Order, he's sure Snoke would've disapproved of Ben even looking at her without trying to kill her again. But the fact that he's been in contact with Ben for who knows how long makes that comment more sinister, in Leia's mind, than it is on the surface.

Because if expressing disapproval for Ben's actions is something he does often enough for Ben to say this, and he'd been in contact with Snoke for longer than he even knew, how many of his actions were dictated by Snoke? Disapproval may as well be pushing Ben toward actions Snoke wants him to take.]

I don't doubt that. He gives you orders, then?

[She assumes it's a yes, given that he's the Supreme Leader or whatever, but. Direct confirmation can lead to her asking more questions that she wants to know the answers to.]

He does.

[Ren isn't really ashamed of that fact. Supreme Leader's orders gave him direction, made him feel like he had a place in the galaxy when he was just... drifting, before. Looking for old Jedi knowledge and getting nowhere.]

Hux, as well. [And the rest of the First Order, just being what he is.] Though most strategy is left to the military.

[It's as she expected, minus that mention of Hux. Hux is now an issue for another time, and even though she still does and probably always would hate the man, she can't help but wonder if he too was pushed toward mass-murder and planet destruction thanks to this Snoke. Not that she expects Hux to have been a good person without Snoke's influence; it's the question of just how much influence Snoke had on him.

She purses her lips, exhaling as she considers his answer, obvious though it may have been, and the implications of it. As well as the other questions she truly wants to ask.]

Did he tell you to destroy Luke's school?

[Did he tell him to kill Han? That's what she really wants to ask, but it's too painful of a subject for her to come out and ask it directly.]

[Ren is silent for a while, his gaze turning to hers to examine her expression, and in doing so he gets a sense of what she truly means. He answers in a way that would be true for all of it.]

He encouraged it. But the decision was mine.

[He doesn't want Leia to get any false ideas about the kind of man her son is.]

[It's what she was both hoping for and afraid of: that this Snoke had been guiding Ben's actions, pushing him toward the sort of person he became as Kylo Ren. Because it can't have just been Luke's school that he enabled, there had to be more than that. Ben may have made the decision to go through with those actions, but if it was Snoke that put the idea there in the first place and pushed him toward it, just how much of that was actually Ben's decision?

Her assumption is no doubt the opposite of what he intended, but her need to know there's still good in Ben and her need to find a way to explain all of what she knows to happen in the future has led her to this assumption.]

Thank you for telling me this.

[He dismisses her thanks with a huff, turning his eyes away again. Whatever makes her feel better, he guesses.]

It doesn't matter.

[Kylo gets to his feet, and in his turning towards the kitchen he knocks the side table slightly off kilter, but he hardly pays it any attention. He doesn't give much thought to the fact that his sea-green amulet is resting on top of it, either, or the fact that it's jarred from its original position, where it was largely not visible from Leia's perspective. He especially doesn't think about the fact that it's very recognizably the crest of Alderaan.]

[Kylo may not pay it much attention, but the sound of him knocking the table jars Leia from her thoughts, and her gaze is almost immediately drawn to the amulet, now that she can see it. It's more than obvious to her what it is, there's no way that crest is something she'd ever forget. She can't quite draw her attention from it, staring--almost transfixed--at what's clearly an amulet and clearly shaped like her family's crest.]

That's...

[She trails off, almost reaching for the amulet before she catches herself and draws her hand back. There's a slight glow around her, the table itself every so slightly brighter than before, as she looks on the amulet.]

That's yours?

[Of course, now that Kylo's attention is off of her entirely, he doesn't bother turning back when she questions him, focusing on getting himself a cold drink instead. His response is flat, uninterested.]

If it's in my house, it's going to be mine.

[She wants to pick it up and look at it more closely, but she isn't sure whether Ben will tolerate that. So instead she steps closer to the table, crouching down slightly to get a better look that way.]

It's not what I expected.

[because it's a symbol of the sort of legacy she wanted him to have, the legacy she embraced. The one he rejected and ripped to shreds when he decided Darth Vader was more worthy of being considered his family than the Organas.]

[With a curious frown and a glass of juice now in hand, Ren turns to actually figure out what Leia is referring to.]

What's—

[And of course, when he actually sees what she's looking at, his frown turns into a glare and his tone becomes annoyed. His free hand shoots out and the amulet zips into his palm, fingers closing around it and removing it from sight.]

It's not like we choose them.

[She looks at him curiously as he quickly calls the amulet to him and holds it out of her sight. It's not that he's wrong, because they don't choose the shape of their amulets. But all the same--]

No, but it's a bit unusual for it to be a coincidence.

My last one was a flower.

[Kylo hopes this illustrates what he thinks of whatever she's trying to imply. That is, that he thinks there's absolutely nothing indicative of them at all.

Just because he technically has that connection to Alderaan doesn't mean he accepts it.]

[She raises an eyebrow at the description of what his last crystal was. Sure, that one was entirely less related to Ben than this one is, but she doesn't think it means this one has no reason behind it.]

And yet this is the crystal that went to you, when it could have gone to others you doubtlessly consider more connected to that symbol than you are.

[Ren gestures with the hand holding the amulet, as if to signify the entire planet.]

Have you looked around this place at all? Tell me what part of it makes any sense.

[Her attention follows his hand, but not entirely because of his gesturing. She's looking for any slight glimpse of the amulet again, especially the image of it next to Ben to keep in her memory.]

I can't say you're wrong. There's very little about this place that makes sense.

[Or maybe it's only meant to seem that way. Who knows. Either way, she plans on interpreting the meaning of that crystal--if there is any--in the exact opposite way he wants.]

[Oh no she won't, not if he has any say. He knows her better than to assume she'll accept his meaning without him explicitly pointing things out.

... He doesn't expect her to accept it anyway, but at least he'll have made himself clear.]

Then don't think that this piece of rock has any meaning to me. I've discarded that heritage and you know it.

[He shoves the thing into his pocket, stepping forward so he's behind his armchair and taking a drink of his glass.]

[Her expression melds back into a more guarded, distanced sort of expression, because she knows Ben discarded that heritage and it hurts to hear it. This was more his heritage than anything connected to Vader, to the family she didn't even know besides Luke, but he can't seem to accept that.]

Then perhaps you'll wind up with something you consider more fitting next time.

I could only be so fortunate.

[He grumbles this at the wall before taking another sip, leaving his hand in his pocket.]

Is that all you came to discuss, or will I have to suffer your presence even longer?

[It's his way of asking if he needs to sit down again.]

[She'd like to stay, considering that their conversation aside from the initial outburst had been far more successful than nearly any she'd had with Ben thus far. But she has no real reason to stay beyond that desire, and nothing else to question him about now.]

No, that's all I needed to know.

[So she moves toward the door, pausing momentarily to add--]

Though I'd also like to remind you to exercise restraint and not attack others. I don't want you to fall back under heightened supervision from the Enforcers.

[Well that and she doesn't want others from their galaxy to get hurt by him. Because she knows what happened between him and Finn, and she isn't happy about it.]

[A red sheen comes to the nearby surfaces as his eyes narrow—though out of amusement— and his tone is almost light as he replies.]

If you're referring to the traitor, we merely had... a spar. [No harm done.] Is he complaining about it? I thought it was enjoyable.

[Apparently he's forgotten his desire to have Leia leave, with this new topic.]

[it's a good thing he's forgotten because she's not about to leave on that note. She frowns, crossing her arms in front of her at Ben's apparent amusement.]

Finn wasn't complaining. I ran into him and noticed his face was bruised, and he said you were responsible.

[also she really questions what you find enjoyable, Ben.........]

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