What the Force willed in our own galaxy says nothing about what we should do here.
[He's not going to deny that it didn't come to him. That it didn't answer his call. But what he will deny is that any of that makes any difference here, outside their galaxy, outside their time.]
Perhaps it wasn't his right. But he gave it to me regardless, because I asked for it and told him how much value it had to me. Not as a weapon, but as my heritage.
[Some of the wood of the door starts to blacken around them as if from decay, parts of it even crumbling.]
Why does it matter so much to you? You must have at least three of them to yourself, locked away in a chest, doing nothing. On this planet they clearly mean nothing in the greater scheme, given how many it's brought.
[At the mention of Luke, harsh, almost hurt expression comes to his face, and he looks away. His uncle is still... a sore point. He kept trying to be distant, and yet—he couldn't, and Luke kept coming back. But now he's gone.
Kylo's left hand tightens against the door frame, cracking the brittle wood there. It's to keep it from trembling. He hadn't let himself think about it, when he realized Luke was gone, but now...]
You don't have any idea what I have or haven't given up. [His voice is a bit quieter, though he still tries to keep up the belligerence, the anger. His shadow starts to darken to black.]
[The effort he's putting into keeping himself from being visibly upset is, unfortunately, visible in the tightness of his expression, and even though there's a glare on his face, his eyes are shining a bit too brightly. His words are strained as well, and he has to force them out so that they don't sound as pathetic as he feels.]
Just because I'm not a Jedi doesn't mean I—
[hate my uncle, he's going to say, but his voice breaks and he has to cut himself off, clamping his jaw shut and trembling with a miserable look on his face that says he's furious with himself.
He can't change what he's done in their galaxy, or what he will continue to do. The him of this place... it's separate from all of that. He's allowed for that separation, has accepted it, that the possibilities here don't have to be the same at home, and so he'd come closer to accepting his family, the Jedi, having a peaceful truce with them even if he didn't necessarily want to be a part of them. Could Obi-Wan not understand that?]
[He would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised by this emotional display. It's not exactly what he had expected. Nor did he realize that Kylo really cared that much about Luke. Though he knew Luke cared about Ren. In a way, their relationship was somewhat similar to his and Anakin's.]
Ben...
[But at the same time, Obi-Wan had always been faithful and loyal to his 'family' who were then ripped away from him. So it was difficult for him to completely understand Kylo's point of view. His words though were soft and careful.]
[He hates himself for this, for feeling this way and letting it display so clearly, and he especially hates how snowflakes start to manifest around them and gently fall. But still he resists and turns his face to only show the scarred side to Obi-Wan, and he's grateful that when a tear does finally escape, it's only from the opposite side. It's a small victory for his pride.]
Just go.
[He's not looking at Obi-Wan, but he hasn't turned around and closed the door yet, either.]
[He wanted to reach out to him, but restrained himself. At least physically. Watching as Kylo turned his face away. His heart sinking a little.]
... I came here because there is a girl who is distraught over losing a friend and a valued item. And... because there's little left of a people that I can protect.
But...
I won't take it by force. Because she doesn't want to lose you too. ... And neither do I.
[With those words said, he lifted his eyes to look at the snowflakes and then raise his hood over his head before he turned to go.]
[Kylo hadn't expected the Jedi to actually... leave.
But he says nothing, turning to watch Obi-Wan go after a few moments. There's a part of him that wants to reach out and call for him to come back, but he doesn't, more tears falling as the other man's back moves further and further away.
He doesn't know how he should feel, but what he does feel is an awful mix of grief, guilt, and a familial love he doesn't deserve and doesn't want to deal with.]
[But he does just that. The Jedi perhaps even hoping that Ben might call out to him. But he doesn't. And as he disappears around a corner. There's nothing but a small patch of frosty mushrooms left where he had been standing.]
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lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
no subject
I don't know the details in your time. What I do know, is that the Force did not will It to you. There is reason for that, and you know it.
It was not Poe's right to give you that lightsaber.
no subject
[He's not going to deny that it didn't come to him. That it didn't answer his call. But what he will deny is that any of that makes any difference here, outside their galaxy, outside their time.]
Perhaps it wasn't his right. But he gave it to me regardless, because I asked for it and told him how much value it had to me. Not as a weapon, but as my heritage.
[Some of the wood of the door starts to blacken around them as if from decay, parts of it even crumbling.]
Why does it matter so much to you? You must have at least three of them to yourself, locked away in a chest, doing nothing. On this planet they clearly mean nothing in the greater scheme, given how many it's brought.
no subject
To keep them safe. That is why it matters. Out of the hands I originally took them from, and any who would be like him.
That lightsaber was Luke's heritage. Something you have thrown away.
no subject
Kylo's left hand tightens against the door frame, cracking the brittle wood there. It's to keep it from trembling. He hadn't let himself think about it, when he realized Luke was gone, but now...]
You don't have any idea what I have or haven't given up. [His voice is a bit quieter, though he still tries to keep up the belligerence, the anger. His shadow starts to darken to black.]
no subject
Perhaps I could if you would tell me.
no subject
Just because I'm not a Jedi doesn't mean I—
[hate my uncle, he's going to say, but his voice breaks and he has to cut himself off, clamping his jaw shut and trembling with a miserable look on his face that says he's furious with himself.
He can't change what he's done in their galaxy, or what he will continue to do. The him of this place... it's separate from all of that. He's allowed for that separation, has accepted it, that the possibilities here don't have to be the same at home, and so he'd come closer to accepting his family, the Jedi, having a peaceful truce with them even if he didn't necessarily want to be a part of them. Could Obi-Wan not understand that?]
no subject
Ben...
[But at the same time, Obi-Wan had always been faithful and loyal to his 'family' who were then ripped away from him. So it was difficult for him to completely understand Kylo's point of view. His words though were soft and careful.]
Talk to me. Don't fight it.
no subject
Just go.
[He's not looking at Obi-Wan, but he hasn't turned around and closed the door yet, either.]
no subject
... I came here because there is a girl who is distraught over losing a friend and a valued item. And... because there's little left of a people that I can protect.
But...
I won't take it by force. Because she doesn't want to lose you too. ... And neither do I.
[With those words said, he lifted his eyes to look at the snowflakes and then raise his hood over his head before he turned to go.]
no subject
But he says nothing, turning to watch Obi-Wan go after a few moments. There's a part of him that wants to reach out and call for him to come back, but he doesn't, more tears falling as the other man's back moves further and further away.
He doesn't know how he should feel, but what he does feel is an awful mix of grief, guilt, and a familial love he doesn't deserve and doesn't want to deal with.]
no subject