Ben's parents did suspect that he had anger issues from early childhood, but the combination of how busy they were and traveling constantly meant they kept putting off interventions, for the most part. They had a few talks with their son when they had time, but nearly half of those ended in even more arguments where all three became upset due to the constant strain and stress in their home. It was only when Ben's uncle got involved that things really seemed to resolve positively, but he, too, was a busy man, and they could only call for his help so much. Ultimately, after the incident when Ben was 13, they decided it would be better for him to be away from home, and away from all the family arguments that they thought caused his behavior in the first place.
He did have friends as a child, and for a while was able to connect with his peers, but as his conflict with his family grew worse, he started to snap at his friends as well, sometimes reacting in more violent ways. These times weren't severe enough for his friends to call any adults' attention to Ben, but they certainly were enough to drive them away, and in a bitter way Ben encouraged this, feeling the need to keep his problems to himself and keep everyone else out of the way. As a result, he grew mostly distant with those around him.
Ben has a tendency towards the dramatic, even aside from the violent aspects of his personality. That said, he made the decision to get out of the life of Ben Solo after several years (through boarding school and college) of essentially self-imposed isolation, and surprise, he realized he had no friends and no purpose in life except the vaguest idea of what his parents wanted for him. He thought that he needed to separate himself from all that entirely in order to make a change, rather than the rational option of maybe going to a counselor, still obsessed with the idea that he was on his own. So why not make that completely true, if he felt that way anyway?
But what truly cemented the idea to fake his death was a scandal in his mother's political career, and the subsequent disappearance of his uncle. His whole family was ruined anyway, and in a childish way, he wanted his departure to be even more noticed than his initial plan, which would have been to quietly slip away. He wanted to remind his family, who was barely ever in touch while he was in college, that he existed, and that they would miss him when he was gone. The other side of him, however, still felt like they abandoned him, and so thought it was the best way to let them be rid of him permanently.
Ben is a contradictory hypocrite, not unlike his canon self.
As for the name Ren Lowe... Ben isn't the most creative man. He smudged his first name and took the last syllable of his last name. He just wanted something that worked, but that he wouldn't have to take too long to get used to. He's not that much of a forward-thinking person, and his recklessness has caused him no shortage of troubles, including having to deal with faking his death. Even if he tries to think ahead, he almost never thinks of everything that could become a problem, and as a result his realization that he'd need a new name came somewhat... late.
Revisions
He did have friends as a child, and for a while was able to connect with his peers, but as his conflict with his family grew worse, he started to snap at his friends as well, sometimes reacting in more violent ways. These times weren't severe enough for his friends to call any adults' attention to Ben, but they certainly were enough to drive them away, and in a bitter way Ben encouraged this, feeling the need to keep his problems to himself and keep everyone else out of the way. As a result, he grew mostly distant with those around him.
Ben has a tendency towards the dramatic, even aside from the violent aspects of his personality. That said, he made the decision to get out of the life of Ben Solo after several years (through boarding school and college) of essentially self-imposed isolation, and surprise, he realized he had no friends and no purpose in life except the vaguest idea of what his parents wanted for him. He thought that he needed to separate himself from all that entirely in order to make a change, rather than the rational option of maybe going to a counselor, still obsessed with the idea that he was on his own. So why not make that completely true, if he felt that way anyway?
But what truly cemented the idea to fake his death was a scandal in his mother's political career, and the subsequent disappearance of his uncle. His whole family was ruined anyway, and in a childish way, he wanted his departure to be even more noticed than his initial plan, which would have been to quietly slip away. He wanted to remind his family, who was barely ever in touch while he was in college, that he existed, and that they would miss him when he was gone. The other side of him, however, still felt like they abandoned him, and so thought it was the best way to let them be rid of him permanently.
Ben is a contradictory hypocrite, not unlike his canon self.
Recollé had no significance to him at the point he decided to move there, aside from the fact that it was a bustling city far enough away that could provide him the opportunities he was looking for. The distance and variety in what could be found in the city was its main draw, for him. He could both hide there and never be found by his family, as well as still actively do things and make a difference.
As for the name Ren Lowe... Ben isn't the most creative man. He smudged his first name and took the last syllable of his last name. He just wanted something that worked, but that he wouldn't have to take too long to get used to. He's not that much of a forward-thinking person, and his recklessness has caused him no shortage of troubles, including having to deal with faking his death. Even if he tries to think ahead, he almost never thinks of everything that could become a problem, and as a result his realization that he'd need a new name came somewhat... late.