Hux has the most Unimpressed Face imaginable as he tends to Ren's recently reopened leg injury because he apparently couldn't wait to start training once more. Despite, you know, being injured. Patience has never been a virtue for Ren, but apparently common sense can be added to that list as well.]
[Hux had found him cursing under his breath, trying to make his leg work properly and hardly bothering to acknowledge his injury at all. Of course the redhead wasn't going to stand for that, and he'd dragged Ren inside to deal with it properly. Despite the pain and the fact his leg definitely needs treatment, Ren can only feel irritated that he's being forced to stop—he hates just sitting around and do nothing, and he can only meditate so much before it feels pointless.
Technically Hux can't force him to do much, but Ren knows he'd just be endlessly pestered if he didn't go along with it, and he's too emotionally exhausted to want to argue. His reply is through clenched teeth, and he's leaning his face against his palm, blocking most of the sullen scowl on his face.]
[Ren lost all the right to complain and scowl when he made his condition worse. While Hux isn't going to make this hurt more than necessary, he definitely isn't going to shut up as he looks at Ren with that same expression from before.]
I'm aware that your... training is important, but apparently I overestimated your ability to make smart decisions because now you'll be off your feet even longer now.
[He continues to avoid Hux's gaze as he starts with the berating, and instead of responding and giving Hux more ammunition, Kylo simply lets out a long, heavy sigh.
He doesn't need to be told about the consequences now, since it's already obvious enough he won't be able to do much with his leg for a while, especially since he refuses to ask for additional help aside from the basic sort of treatment Hux is giving him.
The air around them slowly becomes uncomfortably muggy, and the shadows around him grow darker. He's going to have to sit around with little to do but think.]
[It's not difficult to notice when Ren's mood begins to plunge and Hux resists the urge to roll his eyes because of his reaction. There's really no need for this.]
You especially make this difficult because of your absolute refusal to accept outside healing. Perhaps you wouldn't need to wait as long otherwise. [Hux doesn't understand that, why refuse the assistance if it won't cost Ren anything?]
[Kylo's voice is low when he responds, and he runs his hand through his hair, eyes closed as he lowers his head.]
I don't need anyone else's help. I can recover on my own.
[It would be weakness to seek out extra help, in his mind. If he can't handle a simple injury like this by himself, what good is he as a Knight of Ren?]
[He watches Ren run a hand through his hair, resisting the urge to comb a hand through it himself. Now isn't the time, Hux.]
I suppose I'm the only exception to that then?
[Since he's sitting here and tending to Ren's injury like some sort of medical droid. But he'd rather have Ren in top condition than leaving him to suffer, which is why he's even helping in the first place.
Okay, so that's not the only reason, but still.]
You've been admitted to the city's local medcenter before.
[He would say that those times were Ren's fault as well, except that wasn't true. Mostly his fault, yes, but not entirely. Hux decides to drop that part, mostly because he doesn't want to bring up the time when the Reaper killed him.]
Humph, well, at least you understand that much. [He's mostly done with bandaging him up now, so Hux starts to get up from the floor.]
[Ren's eyes don't follow Hux as he gets up; he simply continues to stare at the spot he occupied, looking particularly tired. The mugginess in the air starts to fade, but the shadows stay as they are, and the knight says nothing as he's drawn further into his own thoughts.
He doesn't know if Hux continuing to lecture him would be better or not, honestly.]
[If things were normal between them, Hux would've taken his leave by now. Let Ren to sulk and mope about whatever, since that isn't too uncommon for him. It would be a lot easier for Hux if he just left him to his thoughts.
But things aren't normal between them.
Hux looks at Ren for a few seconds before a taking a seat next to him on the couch, not yet touching him even though some stupid part of him wants to.]
Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or not. [He doesn't even bother thinking of that whole excuse of 'not wanting the house to be damaged because of Ren's emotions.']
[Hux may restrain himself from touching Ren, but that only means that Ren makes the decision for him, leaning sideways until his head is resting against the other man's shoulder.
He doesn't respond for a while, simply continuing to stare as he tries to find comfort in Armitage's presence, but he does eventually speak in a quiet voice.]
[He allows this contact and after a few seconds, Hux runs a hand through his hair, no longer able to resist the urge to do so. If Ren wants comfort, he is willing to give it to him, if only to ensure that the knight stays with Hux.
...And okay he likes it too.]
What happened, Kylo. [Ren never answered him the first time and now he wants to know.]
[He allows his eyes to slide shut, taking in a deep breath as he prepares to answer. He still doesn't know what to think about it all—like most things, he has conflicting feelings.]
I stopped caring entirely. Even aside from what I did and didn't do... there was nothing in me that wanted to fight that.
[It... almost scares him, even though he knows he also sought that out almost immediately. Just giving up was so much easier than continuing to fight.]
[He remembers that all too well, he remembers not enjoying Ren's lack of emotions toward everything. Yes, he managed to save Hux, but it didn't make his behavior any less disconcerting.]
You were affected by this planet. [Not that he normally makes excuses, but Hux is aware that it's difficult to resist at times. Even he fell into his anger during that trip.]
You're the one that mentioned that simply resisting isn't good enough sometimes.
[Kylo furrows his brow, though he's frowning at himself rather than at Hux. He shakes his head just barely, not wanting to move from his current, comfortable position.]
There's a difference between resistance not working and not even trying it at all.
[He briefly looks at the other man, not expecting Ren to admit something like that. So, he didn't even try resisting? Well, the fact that it was apathy affecting him most likely had a hand in that, but it's not something Hux is pleased to hear still.]
[He doesn't even have to question that. A while back, right after that flower festival, before the mess with the murder ever happened... some had feelings forced onto or taken from them, and for Ren it was the latter. He welcomed it then, as well.]
To be able to stop caring... it's something I've wanted for long time.
[Hux never thought that Ren wanted to feel nothing, to stop caring about the world around him. It's not something Hux can really understand, as he doesn't want to be apathetic to what's happening around him.
He still doesn't pull away though.]
Why's that? Your actions pertaining to the First Order never led me to reach this conclusion.
I've always cared too much about things I shouldn't feel anything for. [He shifts a little, some of his hair falling over his face.] It's a weakness of mine that Supreme Leader is already aware of.
[It's another way he's following in his grandfather's footsteps, he supposes, as much as he'd like to avoid Darth Vader's final mistake.]
[Ren cares too much? If he heard him say such a thing a year ago, Hux would've laughed. But. He can see it now and it's not like Ren would lie about that. He's not the type to fool people in that way.
The general briefly wonders if he falls into that description. It's probably for the best if he doesn't think about it.]
Falling completely into apathy isn't the solution to that.
[He knows he can't simply stop feeling and continue to live his life like that. There are still thinks he wants aside from that, things he can't have if he feels nothing, and that's true both on this planet and in their own galaxy. But as a brief reprieve, he can't resist the idea.]
[Talking about feelings was never one of Hux's strengths.]
...No, I suppose not. [Should he just acknowledge what Ren has said? There's a small amount of confusion coming from the general, apparent enough for Ren to sense.]
If you're unable to stop caring about various things, then you'll just have to find other solutions. Perhaps make it tolerable. [Not that Hux has this sort of problem because he's an asshole.]
[This place has taught him just how much he's powered by conflict, both by inflicting things upon him here and making him reflect on things from their galaxy. Ren brings a hand over his face, letting out a sigh and regretting even bringing this up at all.]
[For some reason, the dismissal frustrates Hux. The reasonable thing for him to do is just let this topic drop, but it would feel like his effort to try and help was a complete waste of everyone's time. That thought doesn't sit well with him, even though he's more than aware of his inadequacies in this particular subject.
Maybe he just dislikes being inadequate in anything. Or maybe it's just because Rne is involved.]
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lostapprentice) wrote2035-01-06 02:37 am
1/28
But that's nothing new.
Hux has the most Unimpressed Face imaginable as he tends to Ren's recently reopened leg injury because he apparently couldn't wait to start training once more. Despite, you know, being injured. Patience has never been a virtue for Ren, but apparently common sense can be added to that list as well.]
You brought this upon yourself, Ren.
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Technically Hux can't force him to do much, but Ren knows he'd just be endlessly pestered if he didn't go along with it, and he's too emotionally exhausted to want to argue. His reply is through clenched teeth, and he's leaning his face against his palm, blocking most of the sullen scowl on his face.]
Shut up.
[At least he's sitting still.]
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I'm aware that your... training is important, but apparently I overestimated your ability to make smart decisions because now you'll be off your feet even longer now.
[The lecturing begins.]
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He doesn't need to be told about the consequences now, since it's already obvious enough he won't be able to do much with his leg for a while, especially since he refuses to ask for additional help aside from the basic sort of treatment Hux is giving him.
The air around them slowly becomes uncomfortably muggy, and the shadows around him grow darker. He's going to have to sit around with little to do but think.]
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You especially make this difficult because of your absolute refusal to accept outside healing. Perhaps you wouldn't need to wait as long otherwise. [Hux doesn't understand that, why refuse the assistance if it won't cost Ren anything?]
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I don't need anyone else's help. I can recover on my own.
[It would be weakness to seek out extra help, in his mind. If he can't handle a simple injury like this by himself, what good is he as a Knight of Ren?]
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I suppose I'm the only exception to that then?
[Since he's sitting here and tending to Ren's injury like some sort of medical droid. But he'd rather have Ren in top condition than leaving him to suffer, which is why he's even helping in the first place.
Okay, so that's not the only reason, but still.]
You've been admitted to the city's local medcenter before.
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[Hux surely remembers that he refused to go back to the hospital after his death, and the time before that he'd left as soon as he was capable.
Ren rests his forearms against his legs, leaning forward and looking at the other man as he speaks.]
... I could do this myself, but I'm sure you'd yell at me if I tried to stop you.
[And there is something nice about Hux actually wanting to help.]
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Humph, well, at least you understand that much. [He's mostly done with bandaging him up now, so Hux starts to get up from the floor.]
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He doesn't know if Hux continuing to lecture him would be better or not, honestly.]
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But things aren't normal between them.
Hux looks at Ren for a few seconds before a taking a seat next to him on the couch, not yet touching him even though some stupid part of him wants to.]
Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or not. [He doesn't even bother thinking of that whole excuse of 'not wanting the house to be damaged because of Ren's emotions.']
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He doesn't respond for a while, simply continuing to stare as he tries to find comfort in Armitage's presence, but he does eventually speak in a quiet voice.]
I don't know if I should have gone down there.
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...And okay he likes it too.]
What happened, Kylo. [Ren never answered him the first time and now he wants to know.]
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I stopped caring entirely. Even aside from what I did and didn't do... there was nothing in me that wanted to fight that.
[It... almost scares him, even though he knows he also sought that out almost immediately. Just giving up was so much easier than continuing to fight.]
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You were affected by this planet. [Not that he normally makes excuses, but Hux is aware that it's difficult to resist at times. Even he fell into his anger during that trip.]
You're the one that mentioned that simply resisting isn't good enough sometimes.
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There's a difference between resistance not working and not even trying it at all.
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You welcomed that apathy?
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[He doesn't even have to question that. A while back, right after that flower festival, before the mess with the murder ever happened... some had feelings forced onto or taken from them, and for Ren it was the latter. He welcomed it then, as well.]
To be able to stop caring... it's something I've wanted for long time.
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He still doesn't pull away though.]
Why's that? Your actions pertaining to the First Order never led me to reach this conclusion.
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[It's another way he's following in his grandfather's footsteps, he supposes, as much as he'd like to avoid Darth Vader's final mistake.]
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The general briefly wonders if he falls into that description. It's probably for the best if he doesn't think about it.]
Falling completely into apathy isn't the solution to that.
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[He knows he can't simply stop feeling and continue to live his life like that. There are still thinks he wants aside from that, things he can't have if he feels nothing, and that's true both on this planet and in their own galaxy. But as a brief reprieve, he can't resist the idea.]
It doesn't change how I feel.
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...No, I suppose not. [Should he just acknowledge what Ren has said? There's a small amount of confusion coming from the general, apparent enough for Ren to sense.]
If you're unable to stop caring about various things, then you'll just have to find other solutions. Perhaps make it tolerable. [Not that Hux has this sort of problem because he's an asshole.]
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[This place has taught him just how much he's powered by conflict, both by inflicting things upon him here and making him reflect on things from their galaxy. Ren brings a hand over his face, letting out a sigh and regretting even bringing this up at all.]
... forget it. Forget I said anything.
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Maybe he just dislikes being inadequate in anything. Or maybe it's just because Rne is involved.]
No, I'm not going to.
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